I've been dealing with insomnia again since last weekend when I found out he'd been having an online affair and then made comments alluding to suicide. I didn't sleep at wink that night for fear that he would take his own life. I've been getting by (barely) on 3-4 hours a night this week. Even after taking Benadryl, melatonin and magnesium citrate last night I got about 5 hours total in spurts of sleep.
Even before this, my sleep was usually broken up. I am a light sleeper by nature. Since he got diagnosed and went through an especially rough period last summer, I wake up at least once in the middle of the night, listening for either him playing video games or snoring. He sleeps in the living room because of his PTSD. If he is snoring I usually go out and make sure the TV and lights are turned off because I don't want the TV to wake him up from his sleep.
The odd time, he wouldn't be in the house when I woke up in the middle of the night & my heart would drop and I would be sick with panic. Usually he would be in the workshop talking to his counselling service on the phone. I told him time and time again to please stay in the house when he talks to him. He says that he doesn't want to wake me. I tell him I'd rather that than to go through the panic attack of not finding him there. But still he goes out to the workshop. I know the anxiety and panic I feel is nothing compared to what he goes through but still it's pretty nerve-wracking.