How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

[Nam]

Good luck piglet......almost done....

 

[anthony]

Hold on tight Piglet... it will soon be over and you can get some much needed wind down for yourself to relax, and sit back long enough to smell the roses and take in some fresh air again. Your really doing very well considering everything that is happening. Well done strong one, well done.

 

[piglet]

:occasion: :kickass:

It's a bloody miracle! I got 4 students through 17 assignments today and THEY did the work. I just kept them at it. Completely knackered, but feeling good, cos at least no-one can say I am bad at my job! At the start of the week it looked like 6 or 7 would fail. It ended up as only 2, and only because they didn't attend, so there was nothing I could do about them.

Have run out of my migraine medication, so I'm expecting to keel over in the next couple of hours. Doesn't matter now though. No work needing doing til Monday, and then it's normal pace stuff. What the hell am I going to do with myself for 2 whole days without work????????:dontknow:

I think the dog might get walked. A lot.

Thanks for all your support everyone - no way I would have done it without the sanity here to keep me on track.

 

[anthony]

That is really great news Piglet... great work on your behalf to get them all through also... the two that didn't show, well... exactly, nothing you could do about that. Really great work, and hopefully you give yourself a pat on your back for a job well done. As long as you continue only proving to yourself that you can do what you want to do, you will go great in helping yourself to beat this illness. Just to work in your condition, and maintain such high expectations and achievements for your students Piglet, you really do need to sit back and give yourself some bloody good back pats for excellent work under quite stressful times for yourself. Well done.

Well, I got really run down yesterday, and was in bed early last night. I just got myself past the fall over from reading through all the PTSD news backlog, and then the little fella has gotten the flu now and crook as all buggery, so I had to deal with him yesterday which took all my emotional and mental resources... at which point when kerrie walked through the door, I fell down on the bed and had to rest for an hour or so. Neither off us slept much last night, and I dare say tonight will be the same. He has a real deep cough, but not a flemmy chesty cough, which is the good side of it I suppose.

Hopefully he should be better within a day or two, and I won't get so worn out looking after him. I think that its purely the fact that I only have so much space compared to those without PTSD to cope, before stress, anxiety, depression and all the rest kick back in again for a short burst. I use up everything fighting back the symptoms I guess, until such time as help arrives so i can get relief from life. An hour later and I was good to go again, which was great, but then I fell over into bed pretty early last night, as I think I was just physically and mentally extracted from taking care of a sick toddler.

Pretty sound now, much better than yesterday and last night, being the weekend and kerrie is home to share the load with me, so today is pretty good and normal for me again.

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Hey all,
Headed for a wedding tomarrow... stress city!
not to fond of hanging out with all these strangers.
I swear if anyone askks what happened to my nose I'm gonna freak and storm out
(well, probally not leave 'cause I might be drinking, and I cant' drink and drive)
But I also got to realize that people don't mean to bring up all these uncontrollable emotoins when they ask... which I can't relaly blame them for.

Really quiet today/yesterday/etc.
Must be the depression kickin-in
damit

 

[anthony]

Baby steps YA, baby steps... one step at a time, and don't beat yourself up over all the symptoms and issues associated with PTSD. Pick one thing, work it, work it so hard that you are no longer bothered by it, then move to another symptom or symptom within a symptom... just one at a time, and you will find more just fall into place as time goes by. If you don't work on PTSD, it will work on you, guaranteed... and control you, your life, and everything about you. I see it so often, and I see so many people fall fowl to PTSD, and basically it is just a lack of there ability to WANT to fix themselves. Keep at it, and don't become a statistic YA... you deserve so much more than that.

I understand that your physical appearance is a deep part of your PTSD, but at the end of the day, it is just a physical attribute, and not the actual person you are. Remember what I said to you previously, the body is just transport for our minds. Our minds are what makes each person up, not our bodies. Bodies come into play for physical attraction and things like that, which are a natural part of a relationship, and if your partner is still physically attracted too you just the way you are, then you really should give yourself a little more credit, because you must just be a beautiful person.

Peoples curiousity will always get better of them, and honestly, I am one of those people that will ask someone like yourself, what happened! I guess I would do that because I would rather here it from you, rather than talk behind your back. So I guess the real issue is, are those that ask you the ones to bother about? They want to know, they may care enough to atleast want to know, which is far better than just talking about your physical appearances behind your back.

Just some possible food for thought to help you through a difficult aspect of your own trauma.

 

[piglet]

Very tired and down today. Not surprised really. Just fed up. I've been reading up on stuff about dissociation. Wish I hadn't. A lot of the stuff I came across was unpleasantly familiar. It doesn't change how things are, but it generally indicates I've got a very long road ahead. Doesn't look good when you are feeling knackered!

I read somewhere that living with ptsd is like a game of snakes and ladders. In reality, I can handle small snakes, but anything over 5 feet I have to have someone else experienced around for health and safety reasons. I guess in metaphorical terms, we select few have found giant snakes. Anybody got any really long ladders???

 

[anthony]

It is hard Piglet.... it really is. I say this all the time, but I think from your own learning that your now starting to believe it. It will take years of hard work to get onto the other side of PTSD... minimum one year just to see really good results, and thats providing you don't break down midstream and revert back to old habits. It is not easy.

There is only one way forward with PTSD, and that is too fight your trauma. You need to get it out of you, you need to continue getting the same trauma out of you until when it is no longer a trauma, but just words with little to no meaning anymore, no hurt, no spite, no remorse, just pain from a distant past, which you can no longer to allow to affect you anymore.

Write, write and write.... tell your story Piglet, and keep telling it until you fit within the above statement.

 

[Nam]

that hits a bit too close there anthony. (See my post in my thread....)

Piglet, if it's any consolation, we, that have been where you are, know that feeling. You can look back and see how far you've come, but you still can't see the light. Seems like you're not moving forward or backward. The thing that I learned (with the help of a therapist) was that even though there are horrible days, and not so good days, you are always moving forward in your healing. I remember feeling like I took a hundred steps back when it took so freaking long to go two steps forward. PTSD isn't quite so linear. It's like a rollercoaster with bad twists in it with no end in sight. (It not only goes up and down, but you're disoriented from going into a twist....) But...you are ALWAYS moving, hence, going forward in your healing. It's the best analogy that I've got, and it still doesn't encompass all the feelings that come with this blasted disorder. Can you tell I'm not having the best day? I cracked a little today, but hopefully, (I'm optimistic) that I'll recover quickly. Like the commercial for shampoo...bounce back jermack, beautiful hair.....

 

[anthony]

I remember feeling like I took a hundred steps back when it took so freaking long to go two steps forward... ...But...you are ALWAYS moving, hence, going forward in your healing.

Your doing just fine Nam... you explained exactly what it is like, and even though you go backwards at times to go forwards, its part of the healing process. Some just go backwards and settle with that, hence they end up such a mess, its hard to get them moving forward. The amount of times I have gone 10 steps back, one step forward, I couldn't count on all fingers and toes, but here I am today, on the better side of PTSD, and only having to cope with small variances in symptoms compared to huge shifts.

I like this side far better than the other.

 

[anthony]

Hey YA... I think this is the best post on this board. Great idea you had... thankyou very much for helping to keep us all sane.

 

[Nam]

No kiddin YA!!

Today is not as bad as I thought I'd be. I got up at noon, made lunch, and now trying to stay cool, no breeze, humid, and 90+. Physically I'm doing okay,besides the hotness, mentally, I'm a bit disgusted with myself. But at least I know why.