Supporter Husband Of Wife With (suspected) Ptsd

[BKR]

Just found this site and was impressed by the amount of information posted about PTSD and the respect with which forum members seem to treat each other. I suspect my wife suffers from PTSD related to childhood sexual abuse. As I say I only suspect this is the case due behavior I have observed and due to the fact of her abuse as a child. My wife has not been to a therapist in many years and has never been diagnosed with PTSD. Our marriage has been mediocre at best for 16 years never really progressing beyond the roommate stage and I am concerned that if something doesn't change it will be that way forever...which would be a shame. I would like to understand more about PTSD so that I can have a better idea if this is what's going on with my wife so we can perhaps get some assistance and make some progress towards her feeling better. Thanks.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Welcome BKR! I am glad that you found this site both for you and your wife. Both of you are important. Your wife is lucky to have such a caring and devoted husband who has not simply given up. Hopefully together you can rebuild your marriage and have lots of happy decades ahead of you! Take a look in the carers' section. I hope you find some support for yourself while you are supporting your wife through a possibly difficult time ahead when she is ready to confront her past...

 

[Never Give Up]

This is my very first post. Thank You for this site and the personal information that is shared which can help others.
I wanted to share with you that my wife of 21 years of marriage is a survivor of an aggressive stage of breast cancer. She did very well with the chemo and radiation therapy which all ended in early October 2013. Our marriage I thought was really strong and we had a solid biblical foundation which kept us closer. December 5th my wife tells me that she feels "indifferent" towards me and all of a sudden I am blamed for things I had done 20 and years prior amongst many other things from the past. She blames me for finding her cancer lump 4 months prior than she did. I was not able to locate the lump after it was first discovered due to the location. I have been told by my actions I am abusive, neglectful and many other words. I have apologized many times to her explaining that "the lump" really wasn't there....nor do we have a family history of cancer. So at that time it was not an immediate danger. For months I noticed my wife was not sleeping much and waking up and moving all night. I researched it and it may be "hypervigilance". So now we sleep in different rooms and she has been sleeping much better the past few weeks. Last week, I had my divorce papers served to me from my wife and she has agreed to slow down and seek council from our Pastor and Elders of the Church we attend. She does not feel that she has any issues and she will not consider any suggestions towards PTSD, Anxiety, Depression. At this time I have been trying to remain calm, loving and patient and quiet while we are still living in the same house. There are times a week might go by and we do not speak with each other. It has been hard but I understand that she is not her normal self. Since this situation has happened I have lost 37 lbs. and I am trying to now take care of myself so I can help my wife and kids. Has anyone out there experienced that similar situation, how do you suggest help?