Hyper-vigilance

[mp2277]

I am sure I am not alone. My hyper-vigilance leads me to my freeze zone. I pick up on unusual behavior, vibes that may be unusual or insinuate that someone (mostly my partner) is upset about something. It seems that every area of my life is put on hold and I go into full analyze and repair mode. Basically over time I became a door mat... anything to avoid conflict (childhoodWar zone memories, verbal and physical Abuse) I now am much less of a door mat and have learned to separate perceived "danger" from reality and am pretty good at working through it and coming out on the other side. Still yet though if I am not careful I fall into the trap of "anything to avoid" the conflict or perceived fear of conflict which may lead to abuse, separation or abandonment.

I am interested in your experiences and more so in your keys or tools or methods to overcome or work through this paralyzing and life altering problem, thanks

 

[Elevatorguy]

I know how ya feel. Grew up walking on eggshells. Didn't wanna set off my father who was a bomb

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Sounds like you could benefit from a few sessions with a true trauma therapist. Someone 'hands on' and pragmatic.

Ben

 

[mp2277]

Sounds like you could benefit from a few sessions with a true trauma therapist. Someone 'hands o...

I have, and that is why I am much much better. What used to paralyze me for days and sometimes weeks emotionally now last a day or two, of course my goal, which I hope is realistic is to get to the place where I spot the trigger and stop it before I find myself falling for the trap. :) Thanks for the response.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Good for you! Sounds like you are moving along swimmingly. :)

Ben

 

[mp2277]

I have, and that is why I am much much better. What used to paralyze me for days and sometimes weeks emo...

Maybe dog paddling LOL or treading water at times, no Michael Phelps here

 

[PhoenixO]

Rather than avoid I normally go into full on avenge mode. My perception of hypervigilance is its motivation to action or overaction. This quality I have found can be a strength but certainly not consistently. The toughest part about my hypervigilance is the protection of my children from any perceived threat. It's root being fear that something will happen if I do not intervene. I believe I may have stunted my oldest fellow ability to risk in activities that a parent not battling PTSD might have let him excel. Also my husband experienced severe childhood abuse and my fear that he was ever angering sent me to full on protect the kids mode even when it was not warranted. It has caused a problem in his feeling free to parent. Actually as I write I am quite emotional because this is a hot button issue that has caused more trouble than I even have wanted to admit. Yes I jave gotten better at discerning bit what I have found is go to the opposite extreme of not doing nearly enough So my experience is I am a work in progress. Looks like my need for specific trauma work is evident. Me thinks. Lol

 

[mp2277]

Ironically I go to full fix it quick mode mentally but physically i usually shut down, can spend hours on the couch fixing it in my head, it is a tough issue for sure

 

[cupfish]

I think PTSD mental paralysis is not discussed as much as we should. It's that place in ze brain where fear meets trauma meets today's to-do list. Why am I on this board right now?? Because I am paralyzed, again, and it's so stupid, so unnecessary, such a waste of my life because there is no real threat at this moment.

 

[mp2277]

I think PTSD mental paralysis is not discussed as much as we should. It's that place in ze brain where...

I agree. I had always heard fight or flight. Only in therapy did I learn freeze. I am not a fighter and only somewhat does flight affect me, but freeze is my battle. I have learned a lot and have come a long way but I still have those triggers that send me to the freeze zone

 

[cupfish]

Totally!! Freeze response is really stressful!!!