Benefits of cPTSD and hyper vigilance?

[CooCoo4CocoaPuffs]

I believe it does have some benefits, although most are drawbacks. As for me, I developed, apparently (because my diagnoses have changed too many times), avoidant personality disorder, so I'm generally afraid of people. This has made it so that no one can hurt me because I'm also very distrustful. I have friends who have been retraumatized because they continue to trust people; obviously, that doesn’t happen to me. Although the loneliness one suffers and the occasional inability to leave the house or even talk to anyone is a problem. I think it has "benefits," but in reality, they are drawbacks that somehow came in handy at some point.

I have a hard time trusting people, too. My own parents are trash, then I’ve been assaulted by others. Traumas piled upon traumas for most of my lifespan. I’m suspicious, private to a fault. Always on guard. Not as much as I used to be but still.

I think it’s counterintuitive to expect us to be social butterflies after interpersonal violence, betrayals ad nauseam.

 

[OM_™]

I believe it does have some benefits, although most are drawbacks

I think it’s counterintuitive to expect us to be social butterflies after interpersonal violence, betrayals ad nauseam.

I'm 100% with you both when it comes to trusting people and I have so much to bitch about it would absolutely be unaffordable 'therapy-wise'.

I started this post because I have so little left to celebrate that I have chosen to believe that PTSD and hypervigilance has made me have an avoidant personality disorder that has prevented me from further sexual exploitation. Yes, the drawback is that I may be considered a 'sexual-retard' but at least no other paedophiliac prick has touched me since the age of 12.

I'm 68yo now and the sexual exploitation from the age of 7 - 12 were enough to set me up for a lifetime of pain. I recognise that PTSD and the resultant hypervigilance is not fun and that it's perhaps fruitless looking for diamonds in the dirt, but that's what I'm looking for...sparkles that indicate some benefits are possible, isn't that the reason we go to therapy?

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi @OM_™ . I'm sorry I haven't read all the posts, maybe this has been offered. No, hypervigilance hasn't helped me. I don't want to hear the kitchen clock from upstairs, or sleep in my clothes and shoes. Or let it affect my personal relationships or perception. But, JMHO that's why it's called a disorder, not helpful per se. Something I have to fight to not give in too. Or perhaps challenge is a better word?

However, I agree with you in terms of the diamond in the dirt. Perhaps only in the sense of learning more that I otherwise might, or perhaps feeling more humble, or just in accepting help, even if I never would/ could. Most of all, to me, anyone's life, well we can only try to make the best of it. It influences greatly where we will be, who we meet, what we prioritize I believe.

They say we only see how things work out looking back; I don't always see that as some things almost can't be recovered from. But, sometimes even years later I learn something about myself or think of another detail and I realize something different. And to try and remember the good things and people. I often say in my job to people I don't wish you need this service, but I imagine it's unlikely we would have met if you didn't. And they say, "Yes!". They have been an integral part of my life or memory, and from what they've said me for them too. Like here on the forum too.

So perhaps not all diamonds but realizing the journey might have a few if we realize it, maybe not because of it but maybe we are a bit more aware with all the time we've had to spend in the dirt!

I'm sorry for what you went though. Peace to you.

ETA, I get it, I truly do, with mistrust and such. But I think we live and die, and we don't know when, better just to live. I'm not a Swiftie fan but it reminds me always of some lyric about a 'careless man's careful daughter'. Of course it's no wonder we're inclined to 'turtle-ize'. Shells are for protection! And also to assume others see us only as we see ourselves.

 

[SophieBernstein]

I recognise that PTSD and the resultant hypervigilance is not fun and that it's perhaps fruitless looking for diamonds in the dirt, but that's what I'm looking for...sparkles that indicate some benefits are possible, isn't that the reason we go to therapy?

Well, I go to therapy to get over it. But If feel thid is your way to feel better then go ahead ^^.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

The ability to potentially understand others with PTSD. I don't think I gain anything else.

 

[SophieBernstein]

Well, I go to therapy to get over it. But If feel thid is your way to feel better then go ahead ^^.

Of you feel this is the way for you to feel better* i wrote it wrong, sorry

 

[fartingdonkey]

There aren't any benefits for me. I'm just a useless piece of shit that no one likes or wants to be around. I'm also easily psychotic and delusional. What in f*ck's name is the benefit of this bullshit?

 

[user27357]

There aren't any benefits for me. I'm just a useless piece of shit that no one likes or wants to be around. I'm also easily psychotic and delusional. What in f*ck's name is the benefit of this bullshit?

hypervigilance in itself is something i wish society as a whole would take a step towards, even a head fake. Think of the lives that would be saved if we all had seen traffic deaths up close and personal and thought about it every time we got in our cars. We would be a bunch of hypervigilant nervous nellies but fewer people would die on the roads!
this isnt a thread about life with PTSD in general, its about hypervigilance. Me too, it all sucks but i think being careful is a positive thing PTSD or not.