Benefits of cPTSD and hyper vigilance?

[arfie]

it would probably help to know about your "...destructive extremes" so that we can watch out for / identify them in ourselves.

paranoia and social anxiety create many. many misreads in the cues my hyper-vigilance took note of and often cause me to over-react and/or slide into control freak mode. those misreads often trigger my fight/flight mode. equally, they often cause me to reject opportunities out of fear. in hyper-vigilant mode, i have the intelligence of a framing hammer and cannot trust the accuracy of my perceptions.

 

[OM_™]

I’m with @Friday on this. Hyper vigilance has no benefit to me and generally causes a shit storm of chaos.

Thanks, I'm definitely not trying to glamorise PTSD and like you and Friday, I have a disproportionate amount of negatives compared to positives; I'm sort of looking for diamonds, glimmers of hope that have kept us alive so that when I have SI moments, I can look back and say..."it's not over yet...won that battle'.

 

[enough]

sure, its better to be vigilant in the world in general, some jobs more than others, some regular daily tasks more than others, some lifestyles more than others. Example after example where vigilance is a great thing, right?
BUT, when it gets to be more vigilance than is really necessary it sure messes up my life.
If i am so worried that I am going to be killed in traffic on my way to work and so worried that a decision I make on the job is going to result in an injury or death and my family life is so fogged by my fear of financial losses or cultural decline and political upheaval and $@&! I think my vigilance has slipped into the hyper realm and hey! we got a problem.

 

[OM_™]

Though, I like to think it has made me less judgmental

Could be a benefit right there...thanks!

 

[OM_™]

I'll start with one of my benefits. As a result of CSA, I became both hyper-sexualised and hyper-vigilant. I believe that my hyper vigilance of all things sexual helped me avoid the AIDS pandemic and STDs in general.

Thanks to everyone who has contributed to my post. I think that sharing positive outcomes and supporting each other is what is so good about MyPTSD.

Quoting myself above / and adding a second benefit:
In the early 1970's I was persistently pursued by a Catholic priest to attend camp. This was long before Churches were subject to media scrutiny of institutional child sexual abuse. After my 3rd or 4th rejection, he verbally abused me in public and years later his name was in the newspapers as a paedophile priest. My therapists and psychiatrist all agree that my earlier CSA and resultant hypervigilance had made me acutely aware sexual predation.

 

[Rose White]

My therapists and psychiatrist all agree that my earlier CSA and resultant hypervigilance had made me acutely aware sexual predation.

I understand this in a way that is hard to articulate because I never thought about it that way

 

[Sideways]

My therapists and psychiatrist all agree that my earlier CSA and resultant hypervigilance had made me acutely aware sexual predation.

Prior CSA also makes us (much) more likely to be revictimised. I’m really glad that, in this instance, for you, prior experience turned out to be helpful.

But, it’s also the case that your prior CSA was very likely a significant contributor to why you were pursued again in the first place.

Vigilance is a superpower. Hypervigilance, by definition, is a dysfunctional extreme - a sensory system that is inaccurately filtering information from the environment.

So, it’s more likely that it was your vigilance that was protecting you. Hypervigilance is when we see threats that aren’t actually there.

For me? It’s a kooky perk of ptsd that, in actual emergencies and life threatening situations, my brain (for once!) functions really well.

But…I’d much rather my brain functioned really well for the other 99.999% of the time.

 

[Rose White]

Prior CSA also makes us (much) more likely to be revictimised.

This resonates with me too—definitely happened.

I have hyper vigilance when it comes to seeing my dad in my neighborhood. My pattern recognition system is dialed up very high. I feel I do need it though. I don’t know if it’s vigilance or hyper vigilance.

Also, I think having extracted myself from the csa crap with my dad and also the emotional bullshit of my ex-husband I’m extra vigilant about not being trapped by anyone. My desire for sexual relationships does not outweigh my desire to not be emotionally bogged down. Whenever I’ve been near men or girlfriends who seem to have some kind of interest for merging I get my antennas on high alert to deflect them.

I’m thinking about how my past experiences of being vulnerable as a teen to groomers (as an outgrowth of the dad crap) and as an adult to mindf*ckery I feel like it’s made me feel extra defensive toward any kind of romantic relationship.

I don’t think that’s hyper vigilance, especially not the way some people on here described it, but it seems related to what op is as talking about with respect to avoiding predatory behavior.

 

[CooCoo4CocoaPuffs]

I’ve had to go it alone, for years, in some run-down, scary places with lots of bad actors afoot. My hypervigilance due to being beaten up and swarmed and some other ugly bad stuff. My parents are scum.

Anyway, the hypervigilance (didn’t even know that term until later,) honed my self reliance, self defense, courage and tenacity and gut instincts.

I’ve foreseen trouble, been able to quickly plan either my escape or stand my ground. It kept me physically unscathed. Still does.

I’m always scanning, watching for psychos and dirtbags etc.

 

[OM_™]

Vigilance is a superpower. Hypervigilance, by definition, is a dysfunctional extreme

My therapists and psychiatrist never made that distinction and saw that my vigilance was sort of like being on a precipice of suicidal ideation with anxiety and madness on one side and positive outcomes on the other side if you managed to survive. I survived but not by much; luck partly responsible for the survival but they insisted on celebrating the outcome.

 

[OM_™]

Rose White said:
I don’t think that’s hyper vigilance, especially not the way some people on here described it, but it seems related to what op is as talking about with respect to avoiding predatory behavior

I'm getting the picture now. My friends and therapists always said I was extremely vigilant and I thought that was being hypervigilant, but obvoiusly, it's not.

Is 'hyper' reserved for the times you feel crazy, threatened or anxious when in reality there is no danger at all...perhaps when you are triggered?

I understand this in a way that is hard to articulate because I never thought about it that way

Can you try to articulate this, or would that be unhelpful / confronting / triggering?

 

[SophieBernstein]

I believe it does have some benefits, although most are drawbacks. As for me, I developed, apparently (because my diagnoses have changed too many times), avoidant personality disorder, so I'm generally afraid of people. This has made it so that no one can hurt me because I'm also very distrustful. I have friends who have been retraumatized because they continue to trust people; obviously, that doesn’t happen to me. Although the loneliness one suffers and the occasional inability to leave the house or even talk to anyone is a problem. I think it has "benefits," but in reality, they are drawbacks that somehow came in handy at some point.