Hyperalertness, Anxiety, Anger

[Ned]

Jimmy I agree with that. When I'm twitchy I start doing all sorts of routine displacement activity, washing-up, house cleaning, gun-cleaning, fridge & larder checks, you get the picture.
And, of course, tidying up.
Swings & roundabouts for my lass, I'm a dick to be with but at least the washing-up's done...............

 

[Jimmy1]

That is all part and parcel of the beast, the problem is that we get so used to living with it that we just accept some of the symptoms as the norm. It's only when our 'bucket gets full' that we notice the difference. And it's usually only our loved ones and outsiders that notice first.

Jar, if your noticing, then check over your shoulder for the claw marks from the beast.\

 

[JarHed]

Jar, if your noticing, then check over your shoulder for the claw marks from the beast.\

Yeah, they're there. Although I do do some of the things that you mentioned. I think that you're right that many of these things relate to having been in the military. I've also been a very organized person my whole life. When I worked in construction at the end of the day I always put everything back in it's place in my truck. Just force of habit.I'm a creature of habit and discipline.

I am anal about things and I know it. I do get a bit twitchy lately with things close by. I just need to let some things go and I know it. But knowing it intellectually and actually dealing with it emotionally are two different things. It's just a time factor.

Just a reminder that we're never done with this thing.

 

[vikingr12]

It's a neighbor causing the problem. Not me. It does not seem OCD at all to me to fight for my rights too.

 

[Chin Strapped]

People that take the piss are those who have experienced very little. I'm sure if they had gone through half of what you have Jar, they would probably think different. The truth is, if you really wanted to, you could destroy any of the idiots; we all could.

 

[Jimmy1]

Dan you are dead right there. The biggest problem we have is that we can't walk down the street with a sign on saying 'I have PTSD and am having a bad day, so get the f*ck out of my way and don't give me any shit'.

PTSD is an invisible illness that only we can suffer. it's not contagious, and nobody can know how the other person feels. I can't even know the degree you feel things.

My neighbor annoys the crap out of me too, he has one of these annoying loud voices. Most days it is just annoying, but on really bad days when my cup runneth over, I want to put a sight picture on the middle of his forehead.

This morning I hate the world. I hope it gets better as we are going out tonight to a show. It should be good. This bloke does shadow puppets with his hands and makes all types of shit. Maybe it's the thought of going out in public that is got my levels up?

 

[jackrabbit]

Jar, I fully empathize. But my question is, and I'm not being a smart ass, what do you think you can do? Can you start letting the fence go (beyond making sure the dogs can't get out)? Could you ignore the neighbors?

For me it was a combination of shrinking my effective perimeter a little each week, combined with pattern changes.

I started telling myself, "the tree is now the edge of the perimeter, and you can't check anything beyond it." Then it was the rock. Then the porch. Now I don't let myself leave the house to check things at night unless I know something's going on. My perimeter's the walls.

It's been a good change for me. It's ultimately decreased my stress.

 

[Ned]

Point there. I used to live on a farm. f*cking hell, I was trying to check out a patch of ground that would be full-time for a section!

 

[Chin Strapped]

My ultimate goal is to live in a little village here in Yorkshire, peace.

 

[Jimmy1]

We have an acre with a nice house on it in a rural area. Nobody can build behind us because of the creek, nobody can build beside us as it's council owned and earmarked for a road sometime in the next 50 years, I will never see it. The closest store is closed, that is how many people used to use it. It's slowly growing. We have to drive 30 min to get fuel and groceries.

It will start as a weekender and holiday place. One day we will live there permanently. We are looking to buy some secluded acreage somewhere too. Somewhere where there is no power for now, or we might even move to the tablelands where the winter is cool enough for a fire. Here it barely get's below 10 deg C which is not cold.

Jar, I think you need a third parties opinion on the neighbor. That way you will be able to know if it is you that is being too hard on them. For instance, if your wife agree's, then you know it's not just you. If it is you then you might wish to seek help from someone else on how to deal with them. You know what we would ultimately do.

 

[JarHed]

Good points all.

I guess a little clarity on my neighbor. My wife and also a number of others in my neighborhood agree that he's just a jerk. I've talked with my therapist about this problem as well. She's a realist and is very objective but still agrees that he's jerk.The first thing I thought years ago when all this started was 'is it me?'. I always look to myself first to try to determine if I'm the problem. I've tried to talk to him on many occasions in a way to try and just coexist peacefully, that's all. He's rude and unable to have a discussion about anything where his opinion may be challenged. He's got his own demons to deal with but I just don't want to have to.

After some of the recent incidents; his dogs attacking someone and their dogs on the street, he's in huge trouble and even though he acts like it isn't all that bad, it is. So after out last confrontation he knows that I'll break him in two if he insults me or my wife. It's been pretty quiet, no words between us of late. I've been working on my fence, replacing worn out sections, and he hasn't said a word. He's just a 50ish guy whose mother died and left him some money so he doesn't have to work and is there all time. My opinion here; he's a worthless, totally selfserving person.

I'm just looking for ways that I can disconnect from my hyperalertness which better serves me. Less stress is good. I appreciate all of your input here. You've given me a lot to think about, thanks.

Jar

 

[Sarg]

Yeah, I wanted to lived out in the "boonies" when I moved up here but you get out far enough to get away from neighbors, you have no services, water, power, nat. gas. I've hauled water before and it's a pain. With the arthritis, I have to run a lot of hot water over my neck and back or I simply can't move and that empties your water tank fast.

So, I took a house in a neighborhood. You hardly ever see anyone and when you do they usually smile and wave. Really lucked out. Hell, I'm the noisiest one in the neighborhood with all my power tools.

But I do understand, Jar. I had a lousy neighbor down south that used to shoot off bottle rockets at weird times and when the weeds and bushes were bone dry and could have burnt down the neighborhood. Total dufus. Stopped that crap by pointing both my spots right at his bedroom window. He came over bitching he couldn't sleep and I told him either he stop with the rockets or the spots stay where they're at.

He knew he couldn't report me to the cops because fireworks were illegal. No more bottle rockets.

I was fortunate as it just as easily could have escalated to something much worse.

Sarg