Hypervigilance and guilt

[Pauline]

Hey guys so thugs have turned around for me and I'm pretty happy because things have been feeling magical for me lately I got a screenwriting course and now living in London again on my own but my trauma happened in the city so I have reminders and I feel like I don't deserve good things happening to me is that normal for ptsd? Like when good things happen to you it's like you can't believe it! I am in therapy again I am wanting to ask my therapist if she thinks I was sexually abused when I was young because whenever I see a young kid walking down the street I feel like my whole body is hurt and I burst into tears like a complete weirdo and feel extremely sad I have a heart condition so it might be because of that but I just wanted her opinion on my trauma history does anyone else have any insight as I wanted to ask my therapist advice X

 

[Abstract]

Hi Pauline. So glad things are going right for you. Yes I think many here including myself have had the experience of good things somehow seeming wrong. I suspect a lot of people can experience that for a number of reasons. One can be poor self esteem. Also very common in depression anxiety etc. One can be if the person hasn't ever had anything good in their life before. etc etc.

I know this question about your childhood is on your mind a lot and in all your posts. You could definitely speak to your t. If she is a good t she wont be able to answer you with a yes or no I'm afraid.

You have been describing these body hurt feelings. No pressure at all to answer but it may help to describe what type of hurt you are talking about. Is your t working on the heart trauma with you? x

 

[Pauline]

Thanks for replying back no I haven't touched upon the heart trauma with my therapist when I say hurt I feel it all over my body like actual pain like somebody's physically hurt me or something and I want to bend over and cry then again when I was an infant I had major surgery which was obviously very physical but it's more like something feels in my body like something was taken from me ( I have no idea if this makes any sense) probably best I tell my therapist but yet I don't know what she would say in the matter when I get sad about my younger age I just feel like I had something taken from me I just came to the conclusion that I never had a normal heart even though it feels more painful then that X thanks for your support

 

[Abstract]

Im sorry about the hurt feelings and other feelings. Sorry to that you went through so much. Definitely speak to your therapist. She is there to help you. Does she know about your diagnoses and the reasons you were diagnosed? Does she have access to your psychiatrists report? You are welcome. x