Relationship I’m very worried about my girlfriend with PTSD

[Sweetpea76]

Let’s not discard the idea that the person themselves may have played a major part in causing the trauma to begin with. And then provided AND continue to provide an environment of mistrust, betrayal and complete insecurity covered by sweet words and apologies to destroy the sufferer further and now they want to talk about trying to help?

However, you’d think that all this ‘caring’ and ‘loving’ would result in trying your best to create a safe, loving and secure place in which the person can focus on nothing but their healing without having to worry about anything else? Instead of actively doing everything in their power to destroy them further.

@Littlebutterfly it sounds as if you are bringing some of your own personal baggage into the supporter area. This is not the place for that. If you cannot handle reading supporter posts without getting upset, then I suggest you don’t read them.

Danyal, I don’t know what point you are trying to prove here. I understand you have chosen to widen your knowledge on the topic and are requesting real advice but if you’re going to be posting on this forum to gain insight, it’s best you post the whole truth and nothing but the truth - don’t try to sugarcoat it.

Do you know this poster personally?

If not then how can you comment on their truthfulness? If so, this is not the place for drama to play out. This is an area for supporters to reach out, ask questions and get advice. The rest of the forum is the place to work out your own issues.

 

[Deleted member 48076]

@Littlebutterfly it sounds as if you are bringing some of your own personal baggage into the supporter area. This is not the place for that. If you cannot handle reading supporter posts without getting upset, then I suggest you don’t read them.




Do you know this poster personally?

If not then how can you comment on their truthfulness? If so, this is not the place for drama to play out. This is an area for supporters to reach out, ask questions and get advice. The rest of the forum is the place to work out your own issues.

Yes I do. But you’re right. It is not my job to continue trying to make people take responsibility for their own choices and actions. On that note, im going to take myself out of this situation.

This was supposed to be a safe place for those suffering to explore their symptoms and share stories to aid healing. It seems this is not the case anymore, not for me anyway.

I wish you the best of luck in gaining insight.

 

[EveHarrington]

OP can you explain more about why she is blaming her suicidal thoughts on you? How does this play out?

 

[Sweetpea76]

This was supposed to be a safe place for those suffering to explore their symptoms and share stories to aid healing.

This is the supporter section of the forum. This area is for supporter questions, support, and posting. This is not a place for sufferers to work on anything.

 

[Deleted member 48076]

This is the supporter section of the forum. This area is for supporter questions, support, and posting. This is not a place for sufferers to work on anything.

I was talking about the forum in general. But yes believe me, I got that loud and clear. Whilst I appreciate and understand that this is a forum created for both sufferers and supporters, it is not a good idea for us both to be on this platform. it angers me to say the least that one can cover their behaviour with so much pretence. This has been the only place thus far in which I felt part of ‘something’ so it really is a shame. In any case, remaining here won’t aid my healing nor will it allow him to continue his insight into PTSD. So as said before, I shall remove myself out of this situation and seek support elsewhere.

 

[Sweetpea76]

As I said before, not the place for drama. I don’t care who knows who or what’s going on. Time to move on from this thread.

 

[Danyal]

In all honesty, I think this is out of order. I think without knowing the full story, it isn’t fair to talk about mental health problems and emotional blackmail.

Let’s not discard the idea that the person themselves may have played a major part in causing the trauma to begin with. And then provided AND continue to provide an environment of mistrust, betrayal and complete insecurity covered by sweet words and apologies to destroy the sufferer further and now they want to talk about trying to help?

Don’t be so naive.

I am not denying that being with someone who is suffering with PTSD is hard. It is hard for all those involved, including the sufferer. However, you’d think that all this ‘caring’ and ‘loving’ would result in trying your best to create a safe, loving and secure place in which the person can focus on nothing but their healing without having to worry about anything else? Instead of actively doing everything in their power to destroy them further.

Danyal, I don’t know what point you are trying to prove here. I understand you have chosen to widen your knowledge on the topic and are requesting real advice but if you’re going to be posting on this forum to gain insight, it’s best you post the whole truth and nothing but the truth - don’t try to sugarcoat it.

Thanks.

I’ve played a massive part in the ptsd my girlfriend is suffering I’ve accepted and it hurts me daily because I’m stuck I want to help her so bad but I feel like because of previous hurt she has her guard up massively which is understandable I wake up every day in regret that I may have hurt but I also live on the hope that when we are good we are good and we’ve been with each other for a long time, but I just sometimes go Into my corner and think maybe me being with her she will never heal and that’s what scares me because I love her deeply and want to help her and make her happy again but I don’t know if deep down she wants that, to be fair she’s giving me endless chances but as you can imagine it’s very hard for me also I’ve never experienced anything like this I just pray she gets better whether it’s with out without me it hurts to say it but it’s the truth I just hope we can recover from this and move forward eventually.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Unless you were the one that caused her Crit. A trauma you did not contribute to her PTSD.

As far as being a trigger, you are not triggering her unless you either are the cause of of her trauma, or you know know her trauma and are specifically triggering her on purpose. Unless that is the case you are not triggering her... she is being triggered and needs to manage that herself.

Are PTSD relationships stressful and hard? Yes. You may very well be causing stress. She needs to own her own stuff though.

 

[Danyal]

OP can you explain more about why she is blaming her suicidal thoughts on you? How does this play out?

We had a major crisis few months back which was mainly down to me and my family’s thoughts I pressured her into asituations she didn’t want to do and I’m paying for it dearly but I also want to help her and hope we can be happy again because like I’ve said this was the first major hurdle and we were very happy until that a lot has happened since a lot down to me but I’m very sorry and had reasons for certain things I’ve made mistakes but I just want to progress with her and hope we can heal together but at the moment seems like it won’t...

 

[Sweetpea76]

First of all just because she says something is your fault it doesn’t automatically make it your fault. She is responsible for her own reactions.

A lot of supporters get the “designated asshole” position in the relationship. You won’t do yourself or her any favors by rolling over on that. First step in all of this is stepping back and taking a realistic look at it all.

Partners get the blame often because we are the closest to our sufferers. If there is dysregulation or stress we are the easy target.

Were you realistically pressuring her to fit an agenda? Or did she feel pressure and stress from a situation that was a way bigger issue for her than you knew?

 

[Justmehere]

Is she in treatment now? Did she have PTSD prior to this relationship with you or is she claiming your possible mistakes are the cause of her development of PTSD?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I’ve played a massive part in the ptsd my girlfriend is suffering

Did you cause it? If not, I'm massively confused by this. Can you expand on that a bit? It'll help with feedback given.