I Am Always f*cking Angry And I Give Up

[Iwa]

It's the anonymous forum.

 

[Ogaj]

It's the anonymous forum.

Lol yeah I realized that after I said it

 

[Zagus]

every get hit in the head ? could be TBI

 

[Adoguz]

Yes emotional regulation. Also exhaustion.

 

[Jeko]

You're not the only one, not by a long shot. I've dealt with anger a lot and still struggle with it often, like today for example.

I've learned something that may help: accept the fact that the anger comes from a legitimate place. Whether it's being victimized, betrayed, ignored, neglected, hurt again, abandoned, or some of things. Accept the fact that anger comes from fear and hurt and betrayal. You have a right to be angry about those things. THe problem with anger is that little things that happen day to day open the anger valve and everything you have ever been angry about comes out at once.

What helped me was to learn how to comfort the six year old boy (and the 7,8,and 9 year old) and tell him that the rage he feels is legitimate. Tell him that his hurt and feelings of betrayal are valid. Those that should have protected him did fail him. But, he doesn't have to feel that way forever.

It helps to tell yourself these things. Iti even helps to hug yourself once in a while.

 

[Roje]

Some people will never own up. That is the reality of the situation with most heavy abusers. And it is imperative that a person who is on the healing path understands this.

Amen!

angrydude:

Maybe buy some dishes at goodwill to smash?

Id also advise some mood stabilizer medication. One of the main reasons I was placed on a low dose of Seriquel XR was to bring extreme emotions I felt back down a bit more closer to normal, give me middle ground for them. And i didnt even know until last week (a few months on it) that a big thing behind why my therapist put me on it was my blind rage explosions as last week he asked "are you seeing your anger isnt as extreme?" And the answer to that was yes. I still have a higher extreme of anger then most but it usually doesnt result in a blind rage explosion. Maybe more yelling then "normal" but not to the level of blind explosion.

I know it helped a lot and there are a lot of medication used as mood stablizers.

And dont let "anti psycotic" scare you (it did me), Abilify is an anti psycotic marketed on tv for depression in low doses. They are used in much lower doses for many MANY things. Seriquel specifcally has an emotional deadening effect and in my case (and I think yours) thats a good thing.

Just a thought.

 

[Leca]

Totally agree with Jeko above.

 

[Kozam]

Inow that I am and I frankly don't give a shit anymore. Trying is just going to piss me off even further.[/Q...

Obviously, you very much give a shit, and I understand exactly how you feel because I'm the same as you. I've done a lot of healing, but when someone hurts me, I lash back with vengeance.

My mother died about 10 years ago, and it's only been in the past couple of years that I've learned to let go of my hatred.

Angry dude, your anger is an expression of your pain, which is all-consuming. It's the pain you need to heal, because you're never going to be able to truly live until you do. And when you're old, you're either going to be grateful that you did the work you needed to do to heal, or you're going to bitterly regret allowing your abuser (yes, it sounds like you were abused) to control your life.

I wish I'd understood this 20 years ago. I wish you well, angry (and sad) dude.

 

[Divin]

Amen!

angrydude:

Maybe buy some dishes at goodwill to smash?

Id also advise some mood stabilizer medication. One of t...

Thats a good point about the anti psychotic label. I once had to have a forensic psychiatrist include in his report that it doesnt have anything to do with psychosis in legal terms. It puts people off big time. The truth is there is no such thing as anti psychotic pills. You can sedate some psychotics into submission a little, same for the rest of us. They should just get rid of that idiotic label.

 

[Cila]

Thats a good point about the anti psychotic label. I once had to have a forensic psychiatrist include in his report th...

They prescribe this stuff for depression, hardcore. Seriously. Idk where you live but here in the states it's pushed VERY heavily for people who aren't "cured" by an antidepressant alone.

 

[Iruv]

They prescribe this stuff for depression, hardcore. Seriously. Idk where you live but here in the states it's pushed VERY heavily for people who aren't "cured" by an antidepressant alone.

I live in the States and its not "hardcore'. Personally I couldnt get used to Abilify but I have Setiquel XR and it is helping very much to lower the intense emotions i feel to not as much intense and it is helping my anger as well.

Dont think of "anti psycotic" as in much lower doses it is prescribed for so much more.

Many meds have off lable uses. This is one of those.

Besides, SSIs and SRNIs dont work for me. Im not on an anti depressent too.

It can help intense anger/rage and it has for me. It is a very viable option.

 

[Ukucar]

They prescribe this stuff for depression, hardcore. Seriously. Idk where you live but here in the states it's pushed VERY...

The only area that I have seen anti psychotic meds pushed or given without a lot of thought put into it is in the public assistance category. I've seen what you mean about it being over prescribed or prescribed too quickly, and have known people who are completely zombied out on it and told they are schizo effective or bipolar when its obviously a false diagnosis.
That has to go on the file for the ability to prescribe it, as well as make it affordable for them. When someone has an awareness of that they can accept it on their own terms as a necessary evil to get through difficult times, when they dont understand it, I've seen people spiral into basically giving up and identifying themselves with major permanent disorders they dont have. It just depends on your prior knowledge and the type of care you can get, unfortunately.