I Am Ashamed.

[JarHed]

I too chose not to have children. I thought then that it would be cruel to bring children in such a world as this. Truth is the world always been like it is. We only see much more today through the media.

If you know you have a problem and are concerned about how it will affect your children you've already considered the problem and are on the road to changing it. When I was a kid and today also, most people sadly don't consider what their actions will do to their own kids.

Gotta' agree with Sarg; Ya' ll are too hard on yourselves and you care about your kids.

 

[Jimmy1]

As we all know there is big conjecture about secondary PTSD with regards to partners and children. It's true too, partners and children can be diagnosed with PTSD symptoms after living with a person for a long period.
If it's closely monitored and all parties go to therapy and learn about what to look for, it can be avoided.

There is also a new part in the DSM with regards to PTSD in children under six years of age.

You know, I think of the tens of thousand of veterans from all continents coming home with PTSD and learning to deal with it, but being the person I am, I also feel for the thousands of innocent men, women, and children exposed to this stupid, f*cked up, dumbass, war on terror, and how many of them will live with PTSD and never be treated.

 

[JarHed]

I also feel for the thousands of innocent men, women, and children exposed to this stupid, f*cked up, dumbass, war on terror, and how many of them will live with PTSD and never be treated.

Sad but true.

 

[Sarg]

I saw it growing up as a military brat, but of course didn't know what it was. But people you knew pretty well would do some really screwed up things. Divorce, spousal abuse, child abuse all were common. EVERYBODY was a heavy drinker by today's standard. Gung ho guys that busted their butts racking up those stripes on their sleeve, only to lose them over something totally stupid.

I don't think my Dad had it, not much exposure to combat, he was just a prick. But I now recognize it in folks I knew.
Our neighbor at the other end of our four-plex definitely had it. Nearly had his arm blown off in a B-17 over Germany. They sewed the damn thing back on with safety wire, fer christsakes.

Altho' we had a pretty good marriage, my wife might have had it. She changed quite a bit but at the same time she had brain damage from a diabetic episode that caused a heart attack.

Jar, does it seem very strange to you with all the emphasis on PTSD these days? I mean we had to fight just to get the VA to admit something was wrong with us, much less classify it as a compensatible illness?

Strange days.

Sarg

 

[jackrabbit]

Just saw an interesting video where Patrick Stewart (star trek) talked about his dad beating his mom because he had PTSD from the war and no way to deal with it. It's a tale as old as soldiers.

We, all of us, are breaking the cycle by trying to be better. By trying to be good and right for our families. By trying to overcome what is and be what we want to be.

We should all be damned proud.

Of course, as I wallow in shit on a sleepless night that seems like a preposterous comment, but intellectually I absolutely know it's true.

 

[JarHed]

does it seem very strange to you with all the emphasis on PTSD these days? I mean we had to fight just to get the VA to admit something was wrong with us, much less classify it as a compensatible illness?

I think that there's a great deal of talk today about PTSD, both in and out of the military. Part of it may be the 'cottage' industry growing up around it and people making money off of the problems of others. Nothing new there. Soldiers today are probably aware of it before they even enter a combat zone. Although I wonder how much is set in place to help those that are suffering rather than making it harder for them to get help.

PTSD was declared and quantified by the psychiatric community in the mid 80's. Maybe the better wording here is accepted by them. It only took a few years for the VA to get on board. As apposed to the 25+ years it took them to recognize and treat those exposed to Agent Orange. It's still a difficult thing for them deal with as it's not always as obvious as say loosing a limb to an IED. That will always make diagnosis and treatment for those of us suffering with it challenging. As always getting in front of the right doctors that can help is key. As well as never giving up the fight for proper treatment.

 

[Universal Truths]

I have an exploding temper when I get annoyed, frustrated, mad and after I am done with my temper tantrum I feel like a piece of crap, no apology or bribe can make up for the hurt I caused them. Lately when I feel that rage in my chest and I know it's about to get ugly I try my best to get myself away from my girls before I say the things I never meant to say, but its hard cause I feel like I am going to explode if I don't. I would say don't be to hard on yourself but It would be hypocritical of me cause I rather die than have to look at the pain in their eyes that I have caused. I don't want to selfishly steal away their innocence because mommy is a f*cked in the head asshole.

 

[Sarg]

Sorry, Truth, it ain't mommy that's the problem, it's the PTSD. Right now, the beast is driving the bus. Like the others said, it's going to take work and time to put Truth behind the wheel. But I understand the children aspect of it. They need you now.

That's why treatment is so important for you now. They will know how to "escape" to a place where you can raise hell and get the anger out and have a low impact on the children.

But don't keep blaming yourself, you weren't doing anything wrong when this bus ran you over.

Sarg

 

[vikingr12]

Truth, there will be a day when you won't have to walk away from them or feel shamed at your anger. It takes a bit of work and attitude, and the willingness to face a major change. And the understanding that it will always be there, so you might as well get used to it and tame it. You are doing that now.

Know it will happen.

 

[dave11c]

Sorry to necro this but i'm a new member here and found it somewhat comforting to read that i'm not alone in this. I have intense fits of rage also that are directed at my mother(i still live at home), they are usually over minor things that in my mind at the time are completely worth the anger and energy, but after the fact i realize i should have just shrugged them off, and i feel about as awful as a person can.

 

[Jimmy1]

Snackbeard, who are you?? No intro, living at home with your mother. Did you serve in the military, if not please leave the site.

 

[JarHed]

I could be wrong but doesn't reading seem like a lost art.