Relationship I Am At The End Of My Rope! Need To Vent

[Navy Spouse]

Try to relax a little. I hope it gets better for you. Do you have siblings that can help with the care of your parents? Now is when you'll really miss the support of your fiance. I hope he can give you atleast a little of what you need.

 

[living4jesus]

Thanks Jax22

My fiancee was an Army Ranger. But yes the same thing for him, Vetrans day week was horrible for him, the holidays are really bad for him too. And its the same thing, one week he is wonderful, the the next week he is distant and cold and tells me we are more like friends. Since we live seperatly and don't see each other often I am able to not let the kids really see that side of him or him rejecting me or the kids like that tho thankfully.

 

[living4jesus]

Thanks IvyMillie!

He had an awesome relationship with my kids for the first couple years of our relationship, just recently when he developed worsening symptoms of PTSD he has backed off the kids and now has just seemed to become really distant and not caring so much if it progresses. That is the tough part for me, one day he is super dad to them when he sees them which lately has been never, and another day he is telling me that he will never live with my kids and nit picks everything wrong with them and I then get really angry I mean I am there mom and I love them and they are the most important thing to me. It is very very frustrating. :mad:

Also just to add, it seems like he is now using PTSD as his reason for drinking, he is more openly drinking as where before he admitted to having PTSD he would apologize for drinking so much and say he was going to stop drinking and work on it, and now it's just him saying 'yep I drink, this is me, I am an old soilder that's what we do'. Um, no , this is not acceptable. Ugh I am so frustrated I am caught between a rock and a hard place ya know. :confused:

 

[living4jesus]

Thanks NavySpouse

Yes I have four older brothers, and it is even more frustrating trying to get them to help. It feels like the weight of the world has been put on my shoulders this week. Like God is really testing my endurance, and I wish he wouldn't LOL.

My fiancee is trying to be supportive by listening to me when I need him to but I can hear in his voice on the phone that he is having a bad week too and really moody or crabby if he isn't drunk, and talking to him when he is drunk is just pointless and annoys me. Also, I get so on guard of his PTSD that I naturally try not to call him for any support or ask of him anything lately because he has become very unreliable and also very uncompassionate unless he is drunk. Which just makes me more stressed out.

 

[Navy Spouse]

I really feel for you. I can only imagine how stressed you are this week. Stay strong, you'll make it through. Next week will probably be some what better and you'll look back at this week and feel that much stronger.

 

[leweyoz]

Hey l4J,

Look after you this week. Leave him out of the picture. Hope you parents are ok. Ring up a girlfriend for some support, an ear a cuppa whatever.

In God's strength, rest in him.

 

[living4jesus]

Thank you so much navy spouse and Leweyoz!

I cannot thank you all enough for your encouragment and support and advice. :)

 

[sanibelsusan]

Aloha,
I am a PTSD survivor from Childhood Trauma. I am so grateful for my Fiance's support. I don't drink, but do get triggered. We don't live together, but have that as our goal for one day. I am glad he has stuck with my and my PTSD "blow-ups". He and I are both in recovery. It helps to know that there are others out there that are also going through this thing we call life, and that helps me get through. Happy Holidays to everyone. I know for me that was NOT a happy time in my childhood, so I pray everypone can "re-parent" themselves to have a Great Holiday this year!!!