I Am Getting Frustrated With Myself

[Ghostybear73]

It looks like its going to go well with talking to my son in baby steps. This morning everyone is in my room and my son says, "mom, was that you up at 1 o'clock this morning?". I said yeah son you know I have never slept well and its worse now, I may get 2 hours of solid sleep a night.

He says, "okay, was that you making all that noise. If so, What were pounding on and why?" So, I told him, "honey, the majority of the time, I don't even know I'm awake." He was a little confused, so Eric started telling him some stories and then reminded him that the house is like fort knox and nobody can get in, and mom can't out. He is like, "no sh*t, mom you're just getting crazier and crazier" (in a joking matter). We all kind of giggled.

Then Eric told him that if something is wrong, the dog will bark. My son says, "hmmmm....I wondered why the dog was just kicking it in front of moms door". (That's the dogs way of trying to wake me, sleep outside my door and when I go out I trip).

My son gave me a hug and one of his famous nasty baby slobber kiss on the cheek and says, "I love you mom".

That went over really well. :D

 

[RussH]

This sounds really good ghost, please keep us posted on how it goes, and if you need someone to talk to just pm me.

 

[Ghostybear73]

@RussH Thank you

And thanks to everyone else who posted advice, it has been very helpful!!

 

[MaybeOneDay]

I am happy for you. Has to be big relief. Have a great day with him.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Things are going real good with here with my son. Sunday we do yardwork and house stuff so him and his sister played together most of the day, then he took her to the movies. We spent the evening barbequing and swimming and just had fun.

Monday he went to spend the day with a friend because that was his only day off (his friends), so it was a little relief to get my head in the game.

Yesterday, I worked most of the day so he went to visit another friend. He keeps whining about getting a rental car so he is not leaving me carless and I told him we could go look tomorrow. He is only 22 so I have to get the car and sign him on it. I think its a manly thing so I kind of laughed at him for it. I have a 2013 Hyundai Elantra so and my backup car that my roommate uses is a 2010 Toyota Prius, so its not like its a big hardship to borrow one of mine.

And my roommate stays home to take care of the house and my daughter and everything else in the world (thank goodness). So its no big deal to pick me up at work or chauffer me around.

But he drives a 2013 Chevy Camaro SS V8, so he wants a little power and since its his money, guess we are going rental car shopping.

Last night we had soccer practice and working with a bunch of 9 year olds always puts a smile on my face, of course I like being in charge and in control, which is why I am able to teach successfully. I have an amazing mask that I don't seem to have a problem putting on when I'm in control. I wish I could keep that mask on all the time, but I would just be running from my problems again, so I know I can't.

So, all in all, which all of your advice, a little communication and straight up determination, I think this situation is going to be a positive. Taking one day at a time.

Thanks again for listening and commenting and reminding me that my son is not only strong enough to understand, but also a good portion of my strength as well.

 

[MaybeOneDay]

Good to hear. Have a good day at work.

Best,

 

[Ghostybear73]

@MaybeOneDay

Thank you!!

 

[Tinyflame]

Thanks again for listening and commenting and reminding me that my son is not only strong enough to understand, but also a good portion of my strength as well.

That's something pretty amazing @Ghostybear73 . :hug: