Brittany Gonord
Bronze Member
Hello! I have not written a post in quite some time, but much has happened. First off, I deferred the transition to a university across the US - they have gladly agreed to hold my scholarship - until Spring semester. During this time, I am working with my therapist, allowing myself to breathe, and move beyond the trauma. I am taking care of myself, no outside pressure. What happened to me can never be undone and I am beginning to realize that. I am growing more and more free! Less fearful, less bound to the past. It does not hold the intensity it once did; it is now a bad thing that happened. I will always bear the consequences, but I will heal! I am moving forward, peering into the future with greater anticipation than apprehension. As I gain more control over my mind, the psychosomatic symptoms will decrease. I know they will! The battle is not yet won, but with God on my side, anything is possible!
Something I have found extremely helpful is hypnosis. I am in COMPLETE control during the sessions and my unconscious mind is slowly releasing muck that has been stored up for years. In addition, my memory is resurfacing (memories that are not associated with the trauma). I lost a lot of memory from my childhood and teen years, but a few have returned. I can only hope more will follow! It is so encouraging!
Lastly, I swore to myself I would never ever want to be in a romantic relationship again. I was only in one my entire life, and I have no intention of getting into one anytime soon. But the idea is not so repellent anymore! Someone out there will respect me for ME, love me for ME. I can be their equal, not the submissive or inferior woman I once was...the victim. I know this is a possibility and, surely, a probability in the distant future. I have confidence in my God. He can work all things together for good!
Something I have found extremely helpful is hypnosis. I am in COMPLETE control during the sessions and my unconscious mind is slowly releasing muck that has been stored up for years. In addition, my memory is resurfacing (memories that are not associated with the trauma). I lost a lot of memory from my childhood and teen years, but a few have returned. I can only hope more will follow! It is so encouraging!
Lastly, I swore to myself I would never ever want to be in a romantic relationship again. I was only in one my entire life, and I have no intention of getting into one anytime soon. But the idea is not so repellent anymore! Someone out there will respect me for ME, love me for ME. I can be their equal, not the submissive or inferior woman I once was...the victim. I know this is a possibility and, surely, a probability in the distant future. I have confidence in my God. He can work all things together for good!
