I Am Not 'they'

[Recovery4Me]

Great thread with sold points by many! :tup: I cracked up over the one-liners of humor, appreciated the supporter take by @Sweetpea76, and became seriously impressed with some of the intellect.

However...instead of verbally decapitating the newbies for using 'they' & PTSD in a pose (for which I have been known to do) my 2016 New Year's Resolution is to just give time out


in the penalty box.

2016... is after all, the year of the Monkey. :) Be kind to Newbies...

 

[KwanYingirl]

I am personally offended when supporters make sweeping generalizations that "we" all behave the same. I rarely have anything to offer them. I just don't identify with their situation.

 

[The Albatross]

The difficulty with taking offense, is that the onus is my own perspective and perception... when something kicks me and I feel "offense" I'm much more inclined to do self examination than I used to be with the awareness that I can choose to be offended if I wish... or not.

 

[rightkindofme]

When someone makes sweeping generalizations about "people like me" I generally assume they are speaking from their experience of people who have self identified into that group in front of them. It isn't more personal than that.

I mean... I like to argue with those people. But I am kind of a masochist.

 

[scout86]

There's a difference between "taking offense" and "taking exception". Personally, I'm not offended by people generalizing. I just think they are doing themselves and the people they care about a disservice by not dealing with people as individuals. If they choose to do that, that's their deal. If they are looking for suggestions, I'd start with suggesting they consider the possibility that everyone doesn't experience things the same way.

 

[stillstanding2]

I just think they are doing themselves and the people they care about a disservice by not dealing with people as individuals.

Exactly. I think that many people use generalities benignly for a general audience. I often do. I accept that in doing so, I am "not dealing with... individuals."

Returning though to what I think @shimmerz referred to originally is that many people offer to, claim to, are authorized to, or are paid to "serve" individuals. Yet some of them fail to serve individuals, but rather themselves or a general audience. At that point, the individual seeking personal help may choose to take offense, take exception, or simply ignore the speaker as useless to the unique, personal circumstances.

It's the difference between a doctor who reads you survival stats and a doc who'll stop the bleeding.

 

[The Albatross]

Hmmm. What a long way we've come from the opening post and here I thought the difficulty was being lumped in as "they" by supporters.

"I am seeing a disturbing trend when it comes to some supporters speaking about 'us' (sufferers). When I see questions like 'why do they..... scream, be aggressive, flip out etc', I have to admit that I recoil. I feel that this type of speak actually perpetuates a misconception that PTSD'ers are violent by nature."

Is a far cry from paid service providers. "... many people offer to, claim to, are authorized to, or are paid to "serve" individuals. Yet some of them fail to serve individuals, but rather themselves or a general audience. At that point, the individual seeking personal help may choose to take offense, take exception, or simply ignore the speaker as useless to the unique, personal circumstances.

It's the difference between a doctor who reads you survival stats and a doc who'll stop the bleeding."

 

[shimmerz]

I have actually stopped letting people know I have PTSD because one of the first things most people asked me (as they back away) is if I am violent! Hell no! Are you??????

This actually occurred in a doctors office. I was speaking from a societal point of view as well. Media isn't helping.

The trend I am speaking of is a general thought that PTSD'ers are violent, which is socially not being challenged and many times played up in the media. This posting was a challenge to those who have fallen into the idea that all people who suffer from PTSD are violent, or depressed, or screaming crazies or whatever. If the 'group' that is being generalized doesn't stand up for their own personal individuality --- nobody will.

Being asked on a regular basis or, worse yet, being treated as if I am violent because I am part of the 'they' crowd is not something I choose to just soak in or ignore. It is annoying, derogatory, condescending, and other words I choose not to use.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote..........."The trend I am speaking of is a general thought that PTSD'ers are violent, "

Aye! there is a lot of mistaken understanding about PTSD out there, some people think that some sufferers are mad, and should be put away?

I can well remember that, after my first therapy I came rushing in to tell my wife that I wasn't mad after all, she replied, ........I knew that you weren't mad, you mad bu**er, we and a laugh at that.

 

[stillstanding2]

This posting was a challenge to those who have fallen into the idea that all people who suffer from PTSD are violent, or depressed, or screaming crazies or whatever

What I think you are objecting to is not far from the kinds of pigeon-holing stigma historically attached to many groups both present and past.

At different times, people practicing herbal medicine were persecuted as witches Any atheist or agnostic was considered a subversive. Anyone who drank alcohol at all was bound to ruin his family and die of alcoholism. Anyone smoking pot was doomed to be a heroin addict. Anyone objecting to war was a communist, and so on.

Very often there have been ulterior motives for perpetuating those myths. And some of those myths were tools of politicians, religions, and organized crime. (Or all three, such as during Prohibition). So society is conditioned to label minorities and individualists as threats. I sometimes think that it is the public-at-large that is the hysteric regarding PTSD.

And you're right. The sensationalist media have implicitly supported the equation of PTSD=violence. Maybe at some point, the label will no longer be "news". I'm old enough to recall the frequent use of "shell shock" as a diagnosis for a dozen current disorders..

 

[KwanYingirl]

Because those of us with a sexual abuse history are not too likely to draw attention to ourselves. The horrors of keeping the secret all but assures that we are not known. We're the C in CPTSD. As for me, and I'm only speaking from what I've learned by reading books about child sex abuse, I was planning on taking that story to my grave. Unfortunately, my chronic suicidal ideation left me no choice but to face the storm. I abhor violence, I cannot tolerate seeing a dead animal on the road. I devoted my career to medicine. I am empathetic and a people pleaser. My coworkers loved me because I was always willing to work my ass off.

I've read many books on the effects of sexual abuse and a propensity for violence is that which is turned inward; cutting, suicidality, depression, etc. I am aware that my friends and family don't usually get what's wrong with me but at the same time they admire me. I wouldn't hurt a flea I hurt myself frequently.

I stand firm with Shimmerz.

 

[stillstanding2]

Because those of us with a sexual abuse history are not too likely to draw attention to ourselves. The horrors of keeping the secret all but assures that we are not known. We're the C in CPTSD.

With all my heart, I wish you will not hurt yourself again. You clearly have earned the love and admiration, and yes, the recognition you deserve. Many of us struggle with our secrets. You are not alone. Please find peace within.