I Am So Sorry For Being Who I Am

[onebravegirl]

You made me think of that song "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!"
Let it shine, shine, shine, let it shine!
O

 

[eyebiter]

I gave up drinking and drugs over 20 years ago on my own...I gave up smoking on my own 10 months ago. Are you seeing a pattern there...I deal with a lot of stuff on my own . It is just this CPTSD that I haven't been able to beat on my own!

 

[Nicolette]

It is just this CPTSD that I haven't been able to beat on my own!

The key is accepting that you can only learn to manage your CPTSD - as it is not curable (yet anyway) so trying to beat it is only giving yourself a harder time. Give yourself a break and find the way to learn to live with an illness..... You can do it!

 

[Nicky31]

Eyebiter, it's really good that you have found the forum. Thanks for sharing your story. Well done for starting to work things through with therapy and also listening to your partner when she encouraged you to do this. It can be a bitter pill to swallow.

Nicky

 

[tryintobreathe]

Welcome to the forum. I am so glad you are getting some help. It's very difficult to be a caregiver and also take care of yourself. I can understand how that is very overwhelming. But you do have to take care of yourself or else you won't be able to help your wife. I'm glad you found us. This is such a great place for support and information. It's nice to know you can come here and people understand.

Jen

 

[eyebiter]

You folks will just never know how much it means to me to have people like you all around...the kind words really help to keep me grounded, and allow me to keep going on. I may not be able to beat this thing but I sure am going to try knocking it down.

I think I found the trigger, I was terminated from the place where my trauma happened, and I think that caused me to go into a tail spin!! It is getting better slowly. I just want to say thanks and hope you all can get some joy out of Christmas.

 

[Momma Kitty]

I just returned to counseling this month. Like they said, there is no cure. We learn to live with our issues and hopefully not drive our loved ones crazy in the process. I too "put on" my personna for work and others. When I get home, I am different. It is easy to be mean to our family. They see every side of us.

I am trying to "let go" of so much stress. Making my life simpler is helping. My child was ADHD when she was little. I was taught about over stimulating visually and by many other means. Now I am using that knowledge on myself. Peace and quiet, riding myself of clutter, letting go of what I cannot control, plus doing more for just me and my happiness.

I got out old photos of me. The purpose was to recall what made me smile. Now I try to repeat those things: music, swimming, nature, pets, etc. My counseling appointments are every week. First thing said was to stop and take some me time. The second appointment was about asking for help. I will have my third this week.

Finding others at this forum that are experiencing the same issues as me has been a great release for me. It has helped beyond belief to know, it is not just me and I am not crazy, just the product of my environment. Thus, I am working to make my environment better for my happiness.

Knowledge is key. Knowledge read here from others experience is vital. Counseling is good, but knowing yourself and your triggers is best. Good luck and many blessings.