I Cannot Trust My Therapist.

[hel]

I simply cannot trust him, I fear judgement and expect him to use what I have told him against me in some way. I am a trainee therapist and my previous therapist told me that It will take me a long time to become one. She said this in s very horrible way in our last session, after I told her I wanted to see a new therapist. She acted upon her anger with me, and I know she is wrong, but it is clearly affecting the work with my current therapist.

He has not given me a reason not to trust him, but I keep inventing reasons. I feel in such despair, and if I am unable to overcome this by the time I finish my training, I fear that my last therapist is right. Such a sad, self-forfilling prophecy. Any advice will be much appreciated!!

 

[digger]

How long have you been seeing him for?

 

[Powder]

Why fear judgment? This is all in your power to control.

 

[Hashi]

Hi Hel,

It's a bit hard to understand the context since this is your first post, so I wonder if you could tell us a little more. Do you have PTSD? Is your therapist a trauma specialist?

 

[I<3GeorgeGlass]

Is that a familiar occurrence, having somebody use things you told them against you later? Having that happen can be a sure way to create distrust in future relationships. Growing up, my mom always did that to me, and I found myself learning to guard what I told people. Before offering information, I learned to consider any possible way it could later be used against me. I became suspicious, and I still find myself sometimes doing this with my therapist. But you know what? She has never thrown anything I've told her back in my face. As you know, therapists are not trained to do this - they are trained to foster trusting, safe relationships with people. If you don't have any evidence that your current therapist isn't trustworthy, maybe you could give him a chance? Test the waters with smaller things first, see how that goes, and then go from there? This is a new relationship, so you you get to build it the way you want to. Start building a strong foundation of trust.

If your last therapist was a jerk to you, forget her. Don't let her tarnish this new relationship. This guy hasn't done anything bad to you, so don't punish him or yourself (which you're doing by holding on to the past relationship.) Easier said than done, I know! But try looking forward and starting fresh.

 

[open eyes]

I have no idea what your situation is, but I was just thinking about what she meant. In order to be a therapist, you have to be able to be an unstable person's steady rock. Maybe she just meant that you're not stable enough yourself yet to be that for someone else.

 

[Mayday]

It took a long time for me to trust my current T, I'd had bad experiences with therapy beforehand. I found it helped to talk about those feelings with her. It helped that she was able to validate my feelings and thought it was perfectly natural that I'd have problems with trust.

 

[Seasounds]

@hel, please do elaborate more. From what I know and can make of your situation:

• Many people with deep wounds become therapists, as they heal, and in their own time. I have read stories of therapists, who got discouraged from pursuing their dreams-by people who weren't kind hearted. Later, those people excelled in their profession.
• I've found it helpful to let go of people I can't trust.