I Do Not Own This But Obviously Take It On Anyway -- Panicking

[p-no]

Just called the leader of my support group because she has another set of my keys and I need it back tomorrow because I have trouble with mine and can't get into my own house. Couldn't reach her (line busy), she called back (not knowing who it was she called). I said it was me and usually she's very nice. I noticed instantly she was not well and I asked her how she was doing. She said, not too well right now. She seemed a little confused, pretty angry and maybe not quite there, but then again very there, because she asked me why I was calling, I told her, she asked why I had key problems, I told her (polite conversation with underlying "unwellness" as described above), she said she'd bring the key tomorrow and ended our conversation.

Now, I do realise I do not own this.
I do realise if she had a problem with me, she could approach me about it. If she doesn't approach me about it, she may really not have a problem with me.
I do realise most likely this is not about me. It may even have been the call she made before we talked, which would explain the bit of confusion.
I do realise (right now) that I am already overthinking this.

I don't own this, but take it on. Got a body response of massive panic. My thoughts are on top of it but my body gets tense, then, when I try to relax it get mega panicky and will get tense again just to avoid the panicky sensation up and down. Do get, that this too shall pass...

Does anyone have any idea WHY it is that I take this on? How do you "give back" to the righteous owner, or let go of it once you're already into panicking mode?

I should add I have NO problem with confrontation/approaching me about stuff. After all, then I KNOW what's going on and can maybe do something or will find it's not my problem and can let it go. But this way I feel it may be my problem (as it's not entirely impossible) and ARGH! Stopping the "evil cycle of analysis" right now.

 

[p-no]

I hate talking over the phone. I did call simply because she prefers phone calls to e-mail. I prefer e-mail because all the non-verbal stuff during phone calls is obsolete in e-mail. You can focus on what a person really says and certain tones of voice, etc., rightly or wrongly perceived, just aren't there.

Not sure if this is a vent or not. Just needed to get it out in the hope of it staying out.

 

[arfie]

I don't know why you do this, p-no, but I am pretty convinced I do it mostly out of habit. Among the many things I call it is, "My Over-Thinking Habit." I have found it a tough habit to kick. At present I am getting pretty good at recognizing when I am doing it. Mantras seem to be my most effective tool so far, but it remains a habit I can't seem to shake. Lately I have been plying imagery. When I find myself obsessing I imagine a wordless head massage. Seems like it might be helping.

Hope you find yours, p-no.

 

[p-no]

Thanks, arfie. I'll try yours. The wordless head massage (I read "head mEssage, lol, got me wondering what a wordless head message could be :D) sounds promising and very relaxing. I wish it were just a habit... (not meaning this in a dismissive way for you).

It did help writing the posts and then distract myself. But I know it's still there underneath. So, I can get myself out of overthinking, analyzing and stuff, but seemingly never really get rid of them (until the original (root) situation resolves, e.g. I'll see the woman tomorrow, if she is "normal" (I should say "the ways she usually is around me"), I'll be fine and can let the root situation/troubles it caused me. If not, I feel the need to talk it out with the person, which is not always good 'cause they haven't even noticed something went "wrong". Darn difficulties...

 

[arfie]

No danger of my taking it dismissively. Far too many variables involved. The best we can do in most of these cases is swap guesses and personal experience. The best conclusions seem to keep coming back in your closing line:

"Darn difficulties..."