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I do not trust anybody

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I can relate, have difficulty with this too. Also with trusting my perceptions.

Practi...

I tried.The first time I found out I had trauma I opened up myself to some although I disclosed myself to some people and I developed a method for self-defense to protect myself from getting that hurt again. Regardless whether it was or right. If they're not the one who went through hell and experienced trauma, they would not know how terrifying that could be to us.And I certainly will do anything I can not to go back there.

I know we people with trauma have lots of imperfections and flaws with the symptoms and everything and as a perfectionist I put pressures on myself a lot and I've given up to do it to myself although yes I do make fun of myself sometimes just because that's how I cope with it. I'm not hurting anyone and I don't get hurt if I make fun of myself. I think that after you'e gone through some terrible things, humor can be a form of medications to one self. And sometimes you have to learn to laugh at yourself for what life has to bring. Eat your pride a little bit. And that's just how I deal with my perfection obsession at myself that things get out of control sometimes, but the biggest challenge for perfectionist is not to lose control when they lose the "remote control".

And I'm certainly not a follower for "Hurt people hurt people". If that's what accepted, no wonder we have so many people seeking support and help in a place like this or even therapists in real life. To me, for people with trauma, there's no other medication that can heal us except love.
 
Glad to know I am not alone in this. Right now I do not trust anyone nor do I trust myself because of how many times my thinking was proved wrong.

Naive doesn't even begin to describe it, and how many times do you have to do the same thing expecting different results? I sometimes think I can correct my thinking and behaviors, and i need to; but does anyone else think you are born with an intrinsic personality and that cannot be changed?

I have hit an emotional bottom...maybe the worst I've had, and I find it scary. I have had all kinds of bottoms before with booze ( have not had a drink in 30 yrs.), with marriages, with homelessness; but this is the worst emotionally for me. The advantages are I have a home, an income, and live alone so there is no chaos there...maybe it has a lot to do with being older and just so very tired.

Knowing what I am dealing with and now having some tools is so helpful...and being able to come here.
Right now am taking it a minute at a time using the tools to help with the chaos in my head.
 
I was recently traumatized by my daughter who is an adult, and I find that I am having difficulties trusting people again. I guess since I got so badly burned by her betrayals of me, that my trust in her was also betrayed. I do not give my trust so easily now and I was trusting before, but I think what is happening to me is part of my unfolding growth process.
 
I don't think I've ever trusted anyone. I can't trust enough to have friends or a relationship.[/...
When you want friendship/companionship enough and don't want to be alone anymore, will you still think the same way? Do you believe everyone is not trustworthy?

I was recently traumatized by my daughter who is an adult, and I find that I am having difficulties trusti...
Yea, you take care of children, and in my case.....when my emotional self was in the dumpster....the worst ever, my daughter put me at arms length. She has PTSD, also. It hurt, because I always thought she'd be there. She can't.
 
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When you want friendship/companionship enough and don't want to be alone anymore, will you still think...

This wasn't directed to me, but my answer is a resounding yes. Not trusting makes the not wanting to be alone anymore devastating. I don't just feel *alone* but I feel isolated, like I'm locked in a box shoved under the bed. There is NO ONE. And I can't just switch on the trust - years and years have eroded that.
 
Whe
When you want friendship/companionship enough and don't want to be alone anymore, will you still think...
This past summer I trusted no one. My brother had kidnapped my father, and I had a terrible case of paranoia as he had hired people to follow me around and take pictures.....I learned to believe no one could be trusted.....I believed all people could be bought or be manipulated. Now, I know that there are people who can't be bought....who have strong core values, and who aren't constantly thinking with their emotions and whacked out on anxiety like I was. If I had been asked this question this past summer, I would have answered exactly the same way. It took 9 months to trust T....so I really get it...it is a very lonely place. It can get better. You can have friends. It will happen.
 
I completely understand I struggle too with trust, it does not exist in my world, I have to approach the world from how much a risk a person/situation is to me or my interests, and how likely they are to betray or abandon me eventually. (strangly abandon and betray represent same thing to me because in my abuse they co-existed)
 
It's been interesting reading this and comparing my self now to then. I have revised what it means to trust people. I have learned that I am generally not the centre of everyone's universe and they generally not dreaming up all sorts of diabolical plots against me there just getting on with there own life's. To be honest I am probably not as interesting to people as I may think.
 
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