Have you considered looking at children's hospital ideas? Esp., since as I recall you have parts up in this mix? Little parts that might be pulling a stubborn fit?
I had a medically fragile child for a few years... Which meant months inpatient, but also a helluva lot of outpatient procedures & appointments.
Parents often pool ideas / info on how to make hospital treks less horrible when they're part of their child's daily life. Yes, it's bribery & manipulation, and no we don't care :D Because it can make something terrible tolerable, and something awful fun. ((I only add this because some parents have the idea that they should get ready "because you said so". Well, sure, if I want a miserable frightened kid. Instead, let's give him some power over the situation. He's going, no matter what. He doesn't have that power. But I can give him power over how he goes, and what that looks like.))
The most basic are rewards... Rewards for getting ready to go for my son included both active things & food & transportation. For example, we'd leave 3 hours ahead of time to have time to go to the trampoline place if that was his carrot he chose (that's a pretty key thing, right there: not tricking them into leaving, but letting them choose their treat for getting ready to leave). Or 2 hours ahead of time if he wanted to go to the rotating sushi bar for lunch/snacks before his appointment. Or an hour ahead of time if he wanted to take a bus or a cab (he loved both). We only lived 5 minutes from the children's hospital (on purpose!) but we'd take either the bus or cab for a bit of an explore. For hard things, we might do all 3 carrots. For tantrums nixing the earlier carrot? No worries, we had backups (okay, he didn't know about it, but I had alternatives lined up for "Good job. I know we don't have time for X... but we have time for y? Or z?" And then you get the shaking sobbing yes please. Oy. Poor kid. Again... I've had so many non-hospital parents tsk tsk over "rewarding tantrums" :rolleyes: You're not rewarding the tantrum. You're rewarding pulling out of it and still having to go... Even now, after being emotionally exhausted. It's about being kind. These are hard things they're facing.
The staff at Children's was amazing for giving kids as much power & as many carrots as possible during the visit... Where I really stepped things back in was the moment we left (although being on board with him looking at scans, and going on treasure hunts in the hospital -if he wanted- and other things... Including the opposite, if that was his mood, "in & out" trips with no delays allowed -no worries kiddo, we'll be stealthy, in and out so fast they'll barely know we were there!)
We had a bit of a tradition of Chocolate Shakes (caps, please!) after Children's. There's this great little ice cream shop just around the corner. So that was part of our thing. Afterwards rewards tended to fluctuate, because one can simply be exhausted afterwards. So sometimes we'd do blanket forts and movies. Or go for a picnic (and nap) in the sun & fresh air that smelled nothing like hospital. Something low key. Other times he'd be so wired that he needed to go burn off the adrenaline. Afterwards rewards (after the Chocolate Shake) were always decided on the fly. And always granted. No matter how hard the session, never used the decompress time afterwards as punishment. Talk about insult to injury! What would happen were extras if he did amazing. Usually the next day. Hey, kiddo! You did so stellar yesterday when you A & B & C... I think you totally deserve to Choose the Day. So what are we going to do this morning?
... These are all pretty common parenting tricks for medical kids. They're also only scratching the surface. If you look around, you'll find lots of tips/ tricks/ advice for parents with sick kids.
Just a suggestion, as always, but you might try them on yourself. The big you taking care of the little you... If you think you/you doesn't deserve it (although you do).
