I really appreciate itSure I understand. It can be quite the mess to sort through. But you're doing it. And I'm happy for you!
It helps me to write out the negative thoughts/beliefs
Then read them once I've calmed down/leveled out. And ask myself if they are true.
How you feel is pretty normal for our situations.
Listening as you sort it out!
I always forget about writing them down. I have a lot of old notes on my phone that I go back to and reread and I'm like "yikes dude" to myself but it goes back to shame really fast. Like shaming myself for how I felt in that past moment