I Don't Think I Can Do This Any More

[Fighting back]

How long does this heeling process take, I have been struggling in survival for 9 years now. 13 years after the abuse started. Please somebody help me because I don't think I can take any more. Please help :( xx

 

[cherryblossom]

I think there are too many factors that influence healing which makes it impossible to say how long the process takes. Also I don't think there's suddenly a point where one says they are healed, and that's that. No more work to be done.

It's about 20 years since I was raped. Most of my 'healing' has been in the last 3-4 years. Before that, I was in denial. Denial about how badly I was coping, and denial about how much determined hard work I would have to put in to make any sort of difference to my life.

I also tried a great many therapists /psychologists / psychiatrists, until I found the 'right fit' for me.

Eventually, everything came together at once. Acceptance, learning what healing would involve, endless searching for the right sort of help, and eventually finding an amazing therapist who I 'clicked' with. Finding a psychiatrist who understood me, and together finding the right drug combination to stabilise me enough to begin intensive trauma therapy. My willingness to work hard and go to hell and back in therapy, a supportive family and stable home life.

It also remains a constant process. Learning to manage my PTSD. If I don't look after myself, PTSD symptoms will quickly bite me on the backside, particularly during times of stress. Healing for me is still a work in progress, but I'm 1000% better than I was 3 years ago.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi Fighting back! I like your name. You still have the fight in you. You are strong and I know the journey to healing is very disguraging and frustrating at times. Cherryblossom states similar experiences I have been through on my journey. I now a doing EMDR and it is tough. I do see much progress and glad I am at this point in my journey. Hang in there.

tb

 

[stillwatersrundeep]

Belive me, I understand where you are at right now. I am there myself. Right now this is my only source of support.
One thing is for sure, I refuse to give up....and you should to. Don't let them win....don't give them your power.
I struggle with this every day, and some days are way worse. Let this be our mantra, DO NOT LET THEM WIN,
DO NOT GIVE THEM THE POWER!!!! Be angry when you need to be angry, but try to channel it in healthy ways, journaling, talking to someone who understands, writing on the forum....be sad when you need to be sad....
I am so glad to find someone on here that I can identify with.