I don't understand myself

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi.... So here I am again trying to understand what is wrong with my brain..
I'm not motivated, I'm not bothered though.. Well some days I am but most days I'm not doing much.

I read and hide away from the world.. Like being in my own bubble.
I hide at my mum's cos it's peaceful.. Close to a beech and she has a dog.. And to be honest she works all day so I don't have much interaction with her.. Which is good..

But I just don't understand. Myself... It's easier here.. Yes but I'm not doing much... Is that bad?... Do you ever get like this... I know that I've talked about this before..

I am lost I think... And can't be bothered to make an effort.. Is this my ptsd or is this just me. I have no idea...

I don't think I'm depressed.. I know what that feels like and that isn't this. Any help or advice much appreciated..

 

[littleoc]

Sometimes I go a while without doing anything. Most of the time I'm afraid to stop -- I'm afraid of my thoughts, and I'm afraid of getting hurt for being idle (part of my trauma). But if I'm away from home, yeah, I'll go a long time without doing anything.

I'm not sure it's depression either. I do it to relax and to catch up on myself. I try to make goals to be productive, but it just won't happened. I suppose it's forced breaks from my body/mind.

To help remedy this, I make sure that I do have one room designated for nothing -- my bedroom. Makes it easier to sleep, too :) I have a bird cage in there and currently I'm cleaning out my dad's trash, but otherwise?

Since I only have one room, I'll be adding a desk to this room. That'll be my "do-something" space.

I have to balance when to stop doing everything and when to stop doing nothing, frequently. So I make basic schedules and daily goals. Maybe that'd help you?

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Sometimes I go a while without doing anything. Most of the time I'm afraid to stop -- I'm afraid of my...

Thankyou.... It's interesting to know that it's our ptsd.... Or how our ptsd can affect our lives....

 

[Freida]

Sometimes things just get to be too much and you need time away to decompress. We forget how hard we're fighting every single day. Sometimes just shutting down for a bit and not doing anything gives you the strength to go back into the battle

 

[Gs172003]

Sometimes things just get to be too much and you need time away to decompress. We forget how hard we're...

I wish I could do that. I wouldn't last 15 minutes lol

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Sometimes things just get to be too much and you need time away to decompress. We forget how hard we're...

Thanks Freida...ive had quite a few troubles... And people have really let me down... Neighbours are assholes and my art work keeps getting rejected from art shows... And the ironical thing is I pay for that.. A fee which is nonrefundable.... Kind words... X