I don't want to read what they said.

[FauxLiz]

Next week my board is set to give me my annual performance evaluation. As part of the process because the organization is really a nightmare it is my responsibility to collect the individual responses of the board and compile them into a single form. I honestly have sat here all evening staring at the envelopes and I just don't seem to have the stomach to open them.

​

It has not been my best year performance wise at work while I haven't had any extended medical leaves in the past 14 months I have struggled since my last leave that was the result of a mini stroke added with the environment at work due to the completely toxic board.

 

[FauxLiz]

So I compiled all the results today and it was tough to read and re-type. But at the same time what I realized from some of the comments that members of the board wrote is that it would probably be assistive to notify my employer of my diagnosis and seek accommodations. From what I can tell I have two diagnosed qualifying disabilities. Ptsd and chronic daily migraine both have under ADA tele-work and flex scheduling as reasonable accommodations and I am afraid to inform my employer of the ptsd. They are very aware of the migraine condition however as I have had to have brain surgery to try and help.

 

[scout86]

Congratulations for wading through the project! I hope you decide to talk to them and it helps the situation. (Or, that you quit and land your dream job!)

 

[FauxLiz]

@scout86 thank you for your continuous support. I am not sure where I am going with this position. I truly can't afford to move until late June/early July due to my son being a senior in high school. I am starting to wonder if it is possible to even work through all the possibilities or whether I continue to work in the shape I am in, Do I keep pretending that I have it all together until something major crashes and burns as a project. I don't know how I am going to handle this and I honestly do not trust any of my board members that will remain on the board following our election in 3 weeks. I have even less confidence in the new coming members and as I seem to be deteriorating maybe it is time to take a leave for more intensive treatment.