Relationship I Feel Like I'm Losing My Mind

[JennJenn]

He decided this morning to end the relationship, but he still wanted me to come over and watch the football game with him. I went over there and we talked at first he was fine, but then he became really anxious I tried to calm him down. Nothing worked I eventually left because he said he needed time to himself this afternoon. I was worried about him so I went back over there about an hour later, and he was a sleep. We talked for a few minutes and he asked me to go to the store and get him some things. I went to the store and picked up what he asked for. I really want to go back over there and make sure he is ok. I'm worried about him. I'm worried about me. I'm anxious and have no idea what to do with myself right now. I just want to be able to talk to him and work through this. I feel like I am going crazy and losing my mind.

 

[WillyKat]

I take it you're a supporter and he has PTSD.

He certainly sounds ambivalent about your relationship; the invitation to watch the game and asking you a favor seem incongruent with ending the relationship.

Are you worried that he's a danger to himself if he's alone? I'm going to look up your previous posts, just FYI. It would help to know the context.

 

[JennJenn]

Yes I am the supporter and he has PTSD.

The last time we decided to take a break he scratched his arm really bad. He has done things in the past that as harmed. He said that to bring him out of flashbacks he will use an adrenaline rush such as hitting a wall or something. I know of at least one incident that he woke up with both arms covered in blood and lacerations and had no idea how it happened. These incidents with hitting the wall and being covered in blood were a few years ago before I knew him, but it still concerns me.

 

[JennJenn]

Should I text him and make sure he is doing alright? I just feel like I should check on him. Would it be too much contact for right now?

 

[WillyKat]

I would not want to predict how he'll react, good or bad, to a text or whatever. But I think if you do, don't get your heart set for the right or even any reaction.

 

[rightkindofme]

If he is trying to end the relationship but still use you as a supporter... that's not very healthy.

 

[StrongHeart]

Sometimes I know it helps a sufferer to have a supporter just there. Not questioning him, not hovering - just take a book or a tablet or a tv, and just sit in the next room. He may have wanted you there because he didn't want to be alone. As I understand from my sufferer, he is much calmer when he's not alone. As a combat vet, he spent most of his time in groups with other combat vets. Sleeping alone, being alone in general, makes the monsters come out. Many times when he's tired he will forgo sleep because he feels vulnerable while he's sleeping. If I just sit in the same room or next to him in the bed with my laptop, he sleeps much better.

Also, as I understand the flashbacks (my sufferer is really good at explaining them) they make the sufferer feel like he's losing his mind. They are not controllable and they are just as frightening as they were the first time, when they were live. If he chose to hurt himself to bring himself out of his flashback, then he's reliving some pretty awful stuff.