I feel like self-harming

[Odos]

I'm not sure how to formulate this. I've only once ever done that, years ago. At the time I was so depressed and I just wanted to be in less pain. I just wanted to feel something different than pain. It didn't really help though and I stopped.

However, lately I feel so stuck and in so much pain, that I've thought about it. Probably at least a dozen times in the last month. That I want to cut. I want to create physical pain so it would release the mental pain I feel. I know it doesn't work that way, but the thought is there anyway.

It's summer and so there are tank tops and what not, and it almost made me think of, where can I do this so it can't be seen...but really I'm very active. I dance and go to the gym and I can't really hide something like that. So I haven't done it. But I really need to feel better and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what to do, I don't...

 

[Juliro]

I struggle with those thoughts too...but the fact that it is summer is a large part of the reason why I haven't succumbed to it. Take it from me though...you don't want to go down that path because, it does become addictive very quickly and you will feel as though you are hooked on drugs and it is progressive meaning you will want to cut deeper. You do say you are active like dancing and going to the gym is good. When you feel those thoughts is it possible to put on some music and start dancing or work out to get your mind off of it? I know it feels like this depression wont ever pass but, it wont last forever. Also, if you are that depressed maybe you should consider going on an anti depressant? That has helped me.

 

[Oladu]

Hopefully you have a therapist you can share this with. You already know it isn't going to help. We do have to release the pain or it drives us to all sorts of self harm. Not just cutting.
Very proud of you for reaching out! That is a very positive step. And I am hearing the pain you are in.
We are here for you to talk about your pain as opposed to causing more pain.

 

[Odos]

Hopefully you have a therapist you can share this with. You already know it isn't going to help. We do have to release...

I can't afford to go to a therapist right now. I've been in the past and it's been helpful, but for few months more it's not an option, so I have to manage on my own.

Thank you for answering....I don't know I sometimes feel like I've been trying and trying to work things out, talk about things, make changes, take it day by day...and eventually things get worse and worse and I really don't know how to deal with that.
It's not that I can never talk about what's bothering me, but...I'm so tired of things getting worse instead of better...

 

[Nosiw]

Try holding some ice cubes, thats pain like no other and leaves no marks

 

[Penam]

@Nosiw although that is a good replacement if you are already self harming and you are trying to look for safer alternatives it is still a form of self harm in my opinion. I think it would be better to try to look for ways outside of self harm that could be long term coping strategies such as journaling, jogging, martial arts, etc...