Self harming

[LucyLou]

I've recently started self harming. It was something I did when I was much younger and I stopped. There's so much to it all. I'm currently in trauma therapy and my therapist is amazing but it's hard for me to talk about trauma, so I keep it all inside but because it came up in session on Tuesday, the awful feeling and memories of my r*pe and everything else have been so loud, especially last night. I haven't done anything major, I used the razor part of a dermaplaining razor to cut. It's nothing major or too deep but I still know it isn't good. If I tell my therapist, is it something she'd have to report?

 

[Sues]

Hi LucyLou, I can relate to this. I've battled SH for years. I also have an excellent trauma therapist. I've told him about it, and he understands that it's a coping mechanism and not an attempt at suicide. Not all therapists understand that, and it might be best to talk to your therapist and ask about it. You could bring up the past SH and say that it's been on your mind since Tuesday and ask what she thinks about it all. That would help take the pressure off of you worrying about how she would react if you told her what you did. It might also open up discussion about it that might help.

I also have so much trouble talking about the trauma. It's so hard to get the words out. I'm fortunate to have a therapist that understands this and also knows that it takes time. How much time? It takes as long as it takes, and we're all different.

For years I've looked at SH as the worst coping mechanism and tried to avoid it. Then I'd tell myself, "Why does this have to be the worst, why do I have to try to not do this? Is it because society doesn't understand it and thinks it's horrific?" I was able to give myself some space over it and realized that if I do it, then I do it. I try not to, and as I said I struggle with it. But, it's just a coping mechanism. And as time goes on and I work on it more, I can lean more and more on the healthier coping mechanisms.

 

[parrotthepolly]

I've heard people say shallow cuts actually hurt more than deep ones and yeah, it stings but deep ones I feel like gets stuck permanently to the bandage.

Never had any experience but SH is completely different from suicidal tendencies and if it's not up to the point of causing a risk of blood lose, it's highly unlikely they'll section you.

I'm sure most professional must have learnt they're different at some point. It makes sense to cope without wanting to die.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

If I tell my therapist, is it something she'd have to report?

in my experience, no, I’ve had a lot of therapists. i was with my current T when i used to self harm more. I’m 9 months clean now but she was very compassionate about it back then, not permissive but definitely kind about it (“what does hurting yourself teach you?”).
also presented her with a notebook with some blood in it (among a lot of writing and stuff) during a vey destabilising time and she didn’t mention it until i bought it up recently. she’s been my best, havent trusted others until after i’ve weaned off it.

you’re just recently getting close to really tough stuff, a good T should recognise that you will be needing ways to cope and with where you’re at right now, may turn to maladaptive ways to do that. i’d go for telling her how things have been for you, this is a very common part of therapy (things getting worse as you approach the hard stuff, self harm in general) and her knowing could help to work to better ways of grounding and symptom management as you start unpacking all this. also helps her understand where you are emotionally with what you’re approaching.

ime she’ll only break confidentiality if she feels your or someone else’s life is in immediate danger. that’s been a universal thing across all my therapists. mine would also tell me if that were the case, there shouldn’t be any surprise reports.

 

[Friday]

If I tell my therapist, is it something she'd have to report?

Not in most countries.

Instead? If they’re any good at their job, they could help.

In most countries the standard for reporting is immediate risk to life… yours, or someone else’s. So they wouldn’t be obligated to report self amputations, much less anything less. Suicide & murder. Not self harm.