I Feel Out Of Control.

[broken brain]

lol that instantly gives me anxiety that radiates to my freakin toes. But I love Bacon, so we have that in common.

 

[NovemberStar]

What's the odds of that - you both join this website within a week of each other, your boyfriend joins just to post about this story, and you are both online posting at the same time ….. about the exact same situation.

Probably time to put away the computers and communicate directly, me thinks

 

[Meadowsweet]

Perhaps you are not ready for a relationship. Your nasty words and his apologetic-ness seem like a toxic mix that won't help you recover.

In terms of PTSD, I'm not an expert, but it may be that CBT may be a better treatment. Because CBT gives you the skills to handle emotional overload before you start going into trauma. Has your EMDR therapist given you coping strategies?

 

[Barconian]

What is so wrong with me that I do not deserve privacy?

Self respect :(

 

[scout86]

Does this HAVE to be about betrayal? I know you're seeing it that way, and that's your right. It's also your choice. Could it, instead, be about love and concern and maybe even plain old curiosity? Does that make it "your fault"? I don't think it's ANYBODY'S fault. You left stuff you didn't want read some place where someone could, and did read it. That happens. I think you both have bigger fish to fry.

 

[broken brain]

I would like to be very clear when I say that I had no intentions of coming on here to tell on my boyfriend. I was totally unaware that he had posted a thread, and once it was brought to my attention, I felt stupid. The details of what happened seem to be standing out more than my intent to ask for advice on bouncing back from a loved one triggering your past issues, so perhaps I didn't word anything right- seeing as I was in such a reasonable and sound state... We joined at the same time because I started therapy last week and it has both open our worlds up to ptsd (before I had just been a screwed up girl with a screwed up past).

Anyhow, I appreciate the constructive input. I return to therapy today and I'm not looking forward to that in the least.

 

[scout86]

If it helps, "not looking forward to it" is part of the package. That gets better too. You're doing the right thing by going, really you are. Sounds like the guy cares about you, even if he's not perfect. That' not something to take lightly (not saying you are!). Cherish each other. Not everyone gets a second chance,

 

[NovemberStar]

I can only imagine, as you are both members on here, that would only add to any relationship difficulties if either of you are posting about the other and / or your relationship issues.

You were posting at practically the same time - were you both at home in separate rooms to do that? Never mind the letter hidden in the bookshelf - can you not see being on here, both of you, reading each other's posts, will be FAR more of a privacy possibly betrayal issue?

I would suggest you at least change your name and photo and become anonymous on here if you do plan to talk about things you don't want him to know, or you haven't talked to him about, already. I just can't see how doing so otherwise will help your relationship.

 

[broken brain]

There isn't much he doesn't know to be honest, and anything I posted about this specific event, I already said to him.

But I also addressed the fact of us both being on here at the same time (he was in another city- us being in other rooms is pretty ridiculous) and not I'm entirely sure what to do about that. He deserves support trying to deal with my ass as much as I need support trying to sort through my mess. We're working on it.