I Finally Told The Police

[krimson]

It may have taken months but I have gone to both my doctor and the police about the childhood sexual abuse I was subject to. My boyfriend, sister, mother and father all now know about it and are being very supportive. My brother was arrested not a week later and put on trial this Monday.

I am having extreme anxiety over what will happen, as this opened up a CAS case for my nephew and a no contact order for myself(win).

I fear him pleading not guilty, even though the detective said he could see he was remorseful though he would say nothing, and me having to go to court and re-subject myself to yet another trauma. I hope he pleads guilty, to make it easy on each of us. I have requested he does not get jail time, because even though he has completely ruined my life, he is still my brother and I still care.

My doctor referred me to a social worker but I haven't been assigned one yet. I have something called victim services supporting me for now. They are great to talk to, so understanding and informative. It's still hard to feel better with the fear of the unknown. Monday will be a big day. Court and a doctors appointment to see how my clonazepam is going...and I need to make the decision of whether or not to file a civil suit, because all of this has left me without education, a job, or even a driver's license. Has anyone had success with a civil suit?

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Wow, @krimson , I am so glad to hear you did this! Standing up for yourself like that is such an amazing and powerful step to take. You are so strong for doing this!

I have yet to find the courage to report my abuser, so I unfortunately not yet share such an experience with you. But you have inspired me and I really want you to know that what you're doing is amazing.

As for the civil suit, I think you have every right to file one. No doubt about that. But take your time to think about it; a civil suit can still be a very hard thing to do, even after his conviction. Talk about it with the people who love and support you, make lists of the pros and cons, talk about it some more.. you still have plenty of time for that part.

I truly admire your strength and courage. Keep it up, you deserve the closure and to be happy.

Big hug if you'd like one :hug:

 

[The Albatross]

No advise, (no personal experience) but congratulations krimson for finding your voice and taking the steps to deal with your abuser. Glad you are getting support and hope that Monday goes well and that the matter will be resolved with an admission rather than a trial.

(Auto correct spelled your nic wrong, sorry... edited)

 

[krimson]

@Snowwhite , thank you. I really needed to hear that, especially today. If you ever do find the courage to report your abuser, I suggest you bring a support with you. I brought my sister and to have her support meant the world to me and made it easier to handle. Everyone involved in the case has been great and very supportive. Remember, you deserve closure too! I hope one day you find the strength to report, if that is the path you choose to take. :hug:

 

[scout86]

Good for you! I'm glad to hear that, at least some of the time, people are supported and believed. I hope the process continues to go well for you and your family.

 

[Springer80]

Your really very lucky to have the rest of your immediate families support.
I hope things go okay for you in court. Remember to take it at your own pace....and ask to stop any time you need.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think it is great that you were able to report your abuser! I'm not sure what to say about a civil suit.... You have to ask yourself if you are strong enough to have a case that may drag on for years. You have to weigh your own healing needs against your desire to have a civil suit victory. Only you can answer this question. And even if you win, you may never see a dime. A monetary award doesn't necessarily mean you will actually get any money. Does your brother have a lot of money to compensate you for what happened?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Congratulations on your stepping up and going to court. I am so happy that you have such a supportive family as most people do not have that.

The only thing I ever did was to shut my fathers daycare down with the help of the Ombudsman Program.

My other abusers I never talked about until I entered therapy.

I think you are amazing and wish you strength when you go to court.