• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

I Hate Christmas

Status
Not open for further replies.
I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to go from 12/23 to 1/2. Just skip over the entire damn time frame.

Every day on the way to the restroom/ break area at work I pass a white christmas tree. And every time I pass it (about 5 times a day) I say a big "f*ck you" to it. To a damn tree!

One year, the Christmas after my accident. I was living with my dad as I couldn't physically work. The entire family knew I lived there. My brother sent my dad and step mom a present. In the box was a card. In the card was "Dad & [step mom's name]". My name not on it, no card for me. Nothing. It was the most alone feeling ever. No one sends me a card except the mass printed one from work. I don't even decorate anymore (something I loved to do) as it reminds me of how alone I am and how much my family hates me.

So yes, I hate Christmas, Thanksgiving, my birthday...any holiday!

I used to volunteer to work holidays as then it wasn't so bad and I got double time and a half. That isn't an option anymore. So I usually sleep through it or lay down all day watching a movie.

One tradition I keep is I save a small bit all year and then buy myself a big Christmas present that I've been wanting or currently want. I can't this year but that helps some but mostly I just wish holidays would disapear.

If I must do something then I start self care early and do what I can. If I can't do family functions, I don't. f*ck them, you come first!

But self care, self care, self care!

I feel you @SeekingAfrica! :hug:s
 
I hate this years season more than others, as a close relative passed away on friday, someone who had common abuse history and info, and one of the few relatives who understood my issues with abuse.
 
I went okay-ish through the last week, I did a lot more than I can usually handle under stress.
Today though, now that the immidiate things to do are over for a moment, I feel all overwhelmed, anxious and depressed...not like like in a really bad state, just somewhere between "I am too exhausted to get out of bed" and "there is so much that I ignored getting to in the last week, I'm screwed" and "everything I have been avoiding thinking about because I was too busy is now coming back to me".
I wish there was a guide for what to do in such moments, I really might end up sleeping a lot tonight just so I don't think about it.
Ugh...may be this is bad. Not even sure anymore.
 
I am now dreading xmas more than before, I just found out my cousins who we going to visit for xmas, is doing thieves xmas, I was already going outside of my comfort zone but going in the first place expecting a regular xmas, while I hated going, I was going for therapeutic reasons, but this thieves xmas, involves a lot more active participation than my comfort zone allows. And I can't back out now.

This is going to a nightmare for me, but I guess it's another chance to use some DBT skills.
Thank heavens I have a PRN, I am going to need it.
 
I'm usually more cheery when the holiday comes around but now I can relate to how you feel. Exhausted, drained. My mom is anal about holidays and makes it stressful and complains and bitches and I just can't keep doing the holidays like this. I can't keep faking a smile or happy attitude when I feel like crap. But I think it's awesome that you've found some empowerment and have been able to set boundaries and everything I really hope you get through the next couple months okay.
 
Ohhh...Christmas sucks, oh Christmas sucks, how much I hate this season...:singing:

It's sort of one long low-grade emotional flashback to stuff I can't really remember very well.:sick:
 
Following my therapist's suggestions I did the xmas thing with my cousins, on xmas eve I had a terrible panic attack, that did subside until late in the evening. Xmas day was not as bad as I expected. Some positive memories created which is what my therapists wanted. Had to use a lot of DBT skills to deal with this.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom