I Hit My Husband, A Lot.

[BloomInWinter]

I'm speaking for myself here, not as moderator. The vitriolic, pro-abuse language in Nerdyni's posts strongly suggest to me that she or he is a troll who came here looking to provoke people. The comments in no way reflect someone who is actually looking for help.

It is rare for even an abuser to list the violent details of their abuse against others in such a manner using such abusive language in a forum of people highly unlikely to respond with agreement. Even the thread title suggests a deliberate attempt to suck people in via playing on our empathy and abuse histories.

 

[Samantha_38]

Wow just read parts of this thread. I hope she finds help and stops abusing people...but WOW! Definitely understand the situation a little more from when I was temporarily banned, and why it happened so quickly with very little investigation. I'm surprised she got as far as she did. Thanks guys for banning someone like this. I do hope she finds help, but clearly this was not a good place for her to try and do that. If she truly was looking for help and not just trying to trigger people.

 

[tillybee]

I'm speaking for myself here, not as moderator. The vitriolic, pro-abuse language in Nerdyni's posts strongly suggest to me that she or he is a troll who came here looking to provoke people. The comments in no way reflect someone who is actually looking for help.

It is rare for even an abuser to list the violent details of their abuse against others in such a manner using such abusive language in a forum of people highly unlikely to respond with agreement. Even the thread title suggests a deliberate attempt to suck people in via playing on our empathy and abuse histories.

And people say that we are sick? That person needs looking at! Like soon!! That's a completely other disorder! Sad so sad!!
It seems then that our lives are so much more interesting :)

P.s. I really like the Banned sticker on her profile ;)

 

[Loner]

Bloom In Winter, I disagree. I do not think she was trolling. Whatever though, its not our problem is it. She probably wouldn't of let us help her anyways. Can't help everyone. I am proud of the way I behaved in response to her, and that is the most important thing to me.

 

[TakeTheBaggage]

Wow. I don't know your exact situation, so please accept my feedback with a grain of salt. When your husband insults you, you attack physically. Do you think you're responding to previous abuse? I can only provide feedback based on what I've seen and know. I know a person who was physically abused as a child. She told herself that she was never going to accept abuse as an adult. In relationships, she became physically abusive. Do you have a history of physically abusing partners? Do you have rage issues? Do you have impulse control problems? You don't appear to have dated your husband very long.

Good luck with your situation. The person I know who was physically abusive to her partners married a calm man who made her calm and she stopped hitting.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Just FYI, the original poster has been banned.

 

[radicalgratitude]

I am so grateful that this thread has stayed open so that we can process this.

He said he's terrified of me. He told me he doesn't abuse me verbally, that he defends himself.

I truly wonder if her husband was emotionally abusive like she seems to think he was. When I was a child, my mom learned how to defend herself to my dad and she taught me and my brothers how to do the same. He told us that we were monsters like her and that she was teaching us how to be mean to him.

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[anonymous]

I don't think she was a troll. I suspect she finds it difficult to truly consider others perspectives (for example her husband) and is purely caught up in her own pain. Hence the straight forward language and hence the lack of self awareness in her posts. That is exactly one of the situations that can result in someone being able to abuse repeatedly.

I suspect she thought there would just be comfort here from others with PTSD - that we would sympathise with her pain and that would be it. She didn't consider that we would look at her pain and her husbands pain and hold her responsible for her actions despite PTSD. The fact that she didn't foresee people holding her accountable and having a strong reaction to her story says exactly how cut off she is from full self awareness and the harm she is doing to this man and how caught up she is in her perspective and her pain.

I am saddened by the whole thing actually. I hoped she could come back and take a good look at where she is and where she wants to be. I think if she expressed true regret and some self awareness this whole thread could have changed around entirely. There was potential for change here that never happened. I would feel exactly the same about a man posting something similar. I abhor the act but hope for something better for the person and all who are exposed to her.

I wish her well and change and suspect going back to the states is the best thing possible. Hopefully she can access some help. An anger management course is the first priority. How that isn't mandatory for someone when they are jailed for violence and regardless of what nationality they are is beyond me. I think it's appalling. The unfortunate and frightening thing is that she probably won't ask for it and will just continue the cycle. I hope I'm wrong.