Relationship I Initiated Space For My Ptsd Boyfriend Need Advice And Just Where To Go For The Future

[emz315]

Apologies i'm trying to follow through with doing the one sentence quotes instead of stating the whole paragraph.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Click hold and highlight the line of text you want, release the mouse button and click the word quote that appears underneath the highlighted sentence :)

 

[emz315]

I've been doing that but it still brings up the whole paragraph

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Ok, it works like that for me, :confused: now !!

Apologies, I have no further advise

 

[emz315]

@Santa_Laurie ....what if i could be a trigger is that possible with PTSD? i do ask him alot of questions sometimes and try to provide alot of solutions to issues but he is very open with me..... i'm strating to think that he gets tense and jumpy when its only around me is that a possibility due to the emotional detachement issue? is it possible to switch of being jumpy when in a social aspect? My friend saw it the other day though when i put my hand on his arm but thats when he was "not in a great headspace" that day.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Sometimes unannounced body contact can be a trigger for a Military Sufferer yes. I have to be the one to initiate any form of physical contact myself. It is the fight or flight reaction that is in-built in everyone that kicks in. As for emotional detachment I could not comment because all sufferers react differently in my opinion with that particular response.

 

[Sighs]

Woe betide anyone who "sneaks up" and lays a hand on a combat PTSD sufferer! Lol - I've learnt to loudly announce my presence when arriving home, coming into a room etc.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

:hug:s @Sighs that is a good thing to do, loud but in a gentle tone, always non aggressive so that the Vet does not get spooked.

 

[emz315]

@Sighs and @Santa_Laurie ...... i keep getting little crying outburst every so often its day 4/8 its hard to do things for yourself when im wondering how his going...just so much fear what Sundays going to bring I don't know what to do....I've never gone this long without speaking to him. I don't want to lose him.

 

[Sighs]

@Santa_Laurie - I often announce myself by talking to the dog - that way my tone can be almost a baby voice but still loud and although I think my vet sees through me my hope is that he then doesn't feel like I'm making allowances for him. (The dog on the other hand isn't fooled for a moment! lol)

@emz315 - easy to say I know but what will be will be - remember too that if your man has been on active deployment that 8 days with no contact from his significant other is not very long. Hang in there!

 

[emz315]

Im having a chat with my dad.... he has asked that could it be possible that my partner is not wanting to end it with me because he doesnt want to be the one to do it so it doesnt hang over his head? And with his ptsd and possibly trying to sabotage it?

 

[Sweetpea76]

could it be possible that my partner is not wanting to end it with me because he doesnt want to be the one to do it so it doesnt hang over his head? And with his ptsd and possibly trying to sabotage it?

@emz315, I wouldn't worry about it unless stops contacting you completely and/or says he wants to break up. A lot, and I do mean a lot, of supporters hear the same thing from our sufferers - "you would be better off without me." I know I have heard it 10 times if I've heard it once. You can probably find a 100 threads in the supporter section where somebody's sufferer has told them this. I wouldn't take this as the typical lame breakup excuse that gets bandied about in regular relationships... it seems a lot of sufferers actually DO think they are not worth loving and feel like their partners would be better off without them. More than likely he is communicating his fears with you, and trying to protect you by warning you he is "damaged goods."

I'm no expert into the workings of the PTSD mind, and a sufferer may be able to correct me on this, but it seems like a lot of times these fears diminish over time when they see that their supporter really does love them and is not going to abandon them. Take in consideration though, this applies to established relationships where the sufferer has not ended it. It's a different story if they cut off contact or say it's over. You can't "win them back" with your fortitude if it is over.