I Keep Pushing My Boyfriend Away..

[Deleted member 26072]

My boyfriend is very supportive, the most supportive person in my life right now and I love him more than I can say. I don't know what I'd do without him, I hate to think of it. We're both just as 'clingy' as each other, texting constantly and seeing each other almost everyday. But at time, quite a lot of the time, I get into these states of being upset for something (I tend to overreact and am very oversensitive) and even if it is completely unrelated to him, I will end up pushing him away, or try to at least. He knows when I do and doesn't let me, which I need, but it still bothers me and upsets me even more when I feel myself doing it.

Tonight, for example, we were on Skype and playing a game together, I wasn't doing my best which got me a bit grumpy, I then started acting harsh towards him and just being upset in general. When I realised I wasn't being nice, I started being even more harsh and worse towards him in some stupid effort to get him to leave and hang up or something. In the finish I told him to just go. We sorted it out over text and we're both alright now, I'm going to his for 3 days tomorrow so everything is good. But this is bothering me beyond belief and I hate it. After I say harsh things and such, of course, I say sorry and genuinely mean it... but it's happening that frequently and I'm saying sorry so much, I'm afraid it'll lose it's meaning and he'll get tired of me saying it. So I want to try and fix it, I need to stop overreacting so much but I can't, I have tried, but I haven't found anything that helps yet. Advice is much appreciated.

I think my overreacting is what causes this whole thing. I overreact at silly little things that are out of my control, I then get annoyed and upset and take it out on him which then leads to my pushing him away in an effort to stop him being on the receiving end of my harsh words - I do mean well by pushing him away so he doesn't get the brunt of my anger, but I also realise that it's making him upset and he doesn't like it, which is why I'm looking for some advice.

I don't know what to do.

 

[NewDayTomorrow]

have you tired taking a break from each other? Try not talking for a day, to kind of let yourself settle out. That is what I do when I start getting ridiculous towards my good long-distance best friend who is also an ex-boyfriend. I find I am much more civil to him after I avoid talking to him for like a week. It is hard to do but it pays off. It can help prevent apologies from becoming meaningless. You could say something like, I will only talk to you to when I feel certain that I can give you the respectful/loving attention you deserve. And if I start overreacting, that just means I need to calm down and try talking again when I feel like myself.

 

[arfie]

I have experienced this allot over the 34 years I have loved my husband. I believe that when I lose myself in him I am using him to aid in my denial and it has definite whiplash. It is extremely helpful that he is so supportive, but he can't "fix" me. There are some things we have to go through on our own. "Supportive" means backing you, not taking over your life.

But that is me. Each of us is unique and each love is even more unique.

Best wishes while you figure out what it is for you.