Sexual Assault I Know I Have Trauma--but I Don't Know If It's My Fault

[8888]

100% not your fault. I don't like the fact that your therapist is calling you a former prostitute. I think you need a new therapist. Sitting with you, if you'd like.

 

[bug]

Your boyfriend is/ was a sleazy good for nothing pimp. I will not say what I would like to do to him, but...

Thank you, so much. It's been difficult to hate him, because I really did feel safer with him than I did with my parents or anyone else. Still, I know he really didn't care about me at all, and hearing people say things like this to me help me remember that. Thank you.

 

[bug]

I think it's also my fault for not telling her it was trafficking in the first place. Two years ago, I didn't present it as a trauma. Still, I know you're right: she should have told me it was manipulative and coercive even if I didn't know it was (or didn't believe it to be). Thank you for being so kind through this @8888

 

[bug]

Yes and this is a very large distortion of her own that I think she is putting across to you. A sex slave is definitely not in the same situation as a prostitute.

This is so relieving to hear. It really does make me feel less ashamed knowing it wasn't my fault I did those things, and those things happened to me. Thank you for being so honest and caring. I'm beyond grateful.

 

[joeylittle]

I think it's also my fault for not telling her it was trafficking in the first place.

No, @bug - she should know the basics on the law. You were a minor. Even if you didn't tell her anything about being threatened, and being paid - you were a minor. 14 years old isn't an age of consent anywhere in the US.

There's nothing here for you to blame yourself for. I understand how hard that is - we all do. You're not alone.

 

[ghotiff]

I think it's also my fault for not telling her it was trafficking in the first place.

The facts make it so, not your current or past label of it. Your T should know this. If you can't raise your concern on this topic, that is a red flag about your T.

 

[bug]

Thank you, @joeylittle and @ghotiff . I do feel like I would be much less ashamed (and more open to talking about my trauma with her) if she had told me immediately that I wasn't responsible for any of it. I brought it up with her at our last session, and she apologized profusely for not making it clear to me--she definitely does not believe I was capable of consent. My social workers, who work at the same treatment program as my T, also spoke with her to ensure she would handle it better in the future.

 

[joeylittle]

I brought it up with her at our last session

Good job, doing that. It can be hard to tell our care providers when they've screwed up. I'm so glad your team is responding quickly and correctly.