I Lost The Guy I Love Because Of My Ptsd

[set4]

I have let him know how much I care for him and that I still love him. I guess he's just decided he doesnt need that in his life anymore. Im going to wait until the fall to speak to him in person, just so I dont push him away any further like you said.

 

[The Albatross]

"I'm going to tell him about the gang-rape...hopefully that changes his mind." Personally I'd leave it go as you said to XXXXX [corrected} fall and work through your own issues, respecting his boundary.

 

[set4]

What do you mean leave it? As in leave it for now and wait for the fall or just drop it all together forever.

 

[The Albatross]

Oops, right fall, you said fall. Drop it all together? Hardly if you want a partnership with the man. But now? Ill advised.

 

[set4]

I agree. Its so heartbreaking and its really tearing me apart. I feel like ive just had so much taken from me on a personal level (self worth, body image, confidence, trust in others, etc) and then I lost this. And thats really just a killer for me. Its making fighting through this that much harder.

 

[The Albatross]

This you didn't lose... this happened inadvertently because you were pushing him away. It ain't lost yet.

 

[The Albatross]

History of sexual assaults/rapes here, so I get it.

 

[set4]

You really think so? I feel like all hope is lost with him. I know hes hurt, im trying to be understanding of that. and im sorry to hear that

 

[The Albatross]

What happened, when you say you were pushing him away... well only you can know. The consequence of doing that is that the other party/partner ultimately decides.

 

[set4]

Yes and I'm trying to find the best way to approach this to make him be more forgiving and understanding.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm concerned that you want to make him be more forgiving and understanding.

I know all too well how bad untreated PTSD can be.

Perhaps a better approach would be to work on yourself to make you into the best you can be instead of trying to change other people (which is futile).

That is, show people that you are changing and healing. Words are just that-----words.

 

[set4]

I agree. And that's why I'm going to wait to talk to him. This summer I need to just be in therapy and work on my summer classes to get my GPA back up (my PTSD got so bad in the spring I failed two classes). But how can I show someone that I'm changing and healing when they won't give me the chance to do so?