I Lost The Guy I Love Because Of My Ptsd

[The Albatross]

Eve said it best I think and I agree when she said, "Tell him that you understand why he's so hurt and needs space to heal, but you'd be willing to rekindle the friendship (or more) at a future point as you value his presence in your life.

Things may not work out now, but at least he'll know that you care. He'll know that you value him. He'll know that you are respectful of him and his feelings since you're willing to give him space. He'll know that you really are working on getting better. And------if at some point in the future he works through his pain and realizes he wants you in his life again, he will know that's an option."

 

[EveHarrington]

All you can do is focus on you and hope for the best. You can't force people to give you a chance.

 

[vislo]

Simply Simon, I blame myself for pushing him away. Even though my reaction was completely normal, I still...

..im pretty much in the same position as the guy you love. Like you we met senior year.. I believe me.. Were amazing together... We purely loved one another. But she had been raped early in our relationship...and she didn't tell me till 5 months later. I told her I would be here for her, and that i would love her and stick by her side.. And be there for her during the healing process. Over the next few weeks after telling me, she was emotionally unstable.. And it was so hard for me, she would start fights with me, and say some mean things. Eventually she broke up with, and that's when she started treating me really poorly, she said some really hurtful things to me over text. Like your ex, all did was be kind and gentle to her, if she needed me I was there.. I would stay up on the phone late night with her trying to comfort her. So when she said those hurtful things to me over text, my fingers went numb, cause I couldn't believe the girl I loved was saying these things to me...and she knew it hurt. But i knew it had something to do with the trauma that she endured...so when she said those things to me, i wouldn't say anything horrible back..even though I wanted to...i knew she was deeply traumatized..and was shutting her emotions off and numbing herself. Unfortunately I was at The brunt of it.. Like your wonderful ex. Well since then, I've spoken to her twice over the past year. Because she shut me out of her life...and cut off. It's good your trying to understand where he is coming from. He's really hurt, because he really loved you. Like me he probably really genuinely loves you for who you are, because you sound really wonderful, but doesn't know how to get past and get over the way you made him feel, and the way you treated him. You genuinely have to show this gentleman that you have changed and that you want to treat him right. Because honestly..... He doesn't want to be treated terribly a second time by the girl that he loves. In my situation, I fought for this girl when she broke up with me....i fought for a month before walking away. Because even at the age of 17.. I knew I wanted a future with her....i loved her unconditionally...and the same for her to. But it wasn't my fault.. And it wasn't hers....it was the sicko that raped hers fault. Like you she pushed me away... With every strike of force she had....she even got her friend to text me...and say horrible things to me. It hurt...but she was going through something really traumatic...and she didn't want me around...she didn't want the emotionally closeness me and her shared...so she cut every thing off.. And treated me like a stranger. She also told me felt like a burden...but me being the kind of guy that I am...i want to help her bare the burden of rape...but she didn't want me to help her. And she has every right to not want me to carry the burden.. But how many of us can sit back and watch a loved one suffer?!?!. None, no.....not one. So I all I can say is... You need to really show him you love him when you see him...be gentle...holds his hands while you speak to him.... Be sweet to him...look him in his eyes and speak...hes a good Dude... Guys like him are few far and wide.... Especially at this young age.. Most guys are just in it to get in your pants and leave. This wonderful man you speak of.. Loved you for who you were and not what you could give him. Because at your lowest point he was patient and kind. Most men don't possess this. I know the way you treated him was a reaction of the trauma... And how you coped...And you mean well...he just doesn't wanna get hurt again.. Cause getting hurt by someone you love... Is a really terrible thing. Nevertheless I pray for you and that wonderful guy you speak of...i hope you two can reconcile and work On that great future together.