I miss being curious/interested in the world

[ninja]

I guess I’m looking for some hope and advice (?) regarding this loss of interest and curiosity that has been such a periodic feature of my life.

It feels devastating to not be interested in what’s going on in the world. It feels like it takes so much energy to be curious, and it just makes me feel so sad and f*cked up.

I feel like I have very little to contribute to conversations because I’ve been living under a rock since I was 15 and haven’t seemed to really pull myself entirely out since then? I’ve had some good periods, for sure. I also just can’t think of anything to say, or can’t process what was said quickly enough. Then I just walk away feeling like shit.

I’ve been dealing with a fair amount of life stress for the past year and a bit (unstable living environment, now unstable job situation, etc.), and I know some of what I’m feeling relates to that. However I’m also to the point where the stress has been there for long enough that telling myself it’s just because I’m stressed doesn’t land anymore?

I just want to be curious and interested in things again. I would love to hear from people who are feeling similarly right now as well as people who have felt similarly and also gotten their curiosity back and what that process was like. Thank you!

 

[Defaultxlove]

I straight up forgot some of my interests.

There was a website called stumble upon idk what it’s called now

But it shuffles through random webpages after you select some interests

 

[arfie]

total empathy, ninja. when i can get myself to open up, i tend to slide into hyper-expression with embarrassing ease. it feels like if i allow myself to even open my mouth, floods of verbal vomit spew with uncontrollable force. after many, many years of psychotherapy, i believe the repression is the mechanism behind the gushes. i still have no desire to be the belle of the ball, but i have developed considerable skill at recognizing my human needs and channeling them instead of repressing.

I feel like I have very little to contribute to conversations

that curiosity is the best contribution i have found for conversation. when i let myself be curious about whomever i am talking to, i flatter them and save myself the embarrassment of talking about myself. sometimes i even learn something.

 

[Midnightmoon]

Nodding along lots here, it's hard when it hits us in the face how far away we might feel from 'the real world', especially this time of year. No bright ideas but I make a good cuppa, Happy to sit with you and, well, wait until there's a way out

I feel like I have very little to contribute to conversations

In this space..you bring you, your core 'self', the one that writes stuff so eloquently to us all and shares deeply helpful stuff. You contribute hugely. Those lovely people skills, they are transferable to 'out there' in the real world with all its variables, I get it feels all kinds of awful at the minute but you haven't lost them, they're still there somewhere...something will spark them. I guess it's finding the what again, and learning what you like or are interested in as supposed to a work task or obligation. I think knowing what we actually like is hard when you have a trauma history... There wasn't time for that before, an actual identity was never really considered. No harm in the scatter gun of try a load of things and see if any feel remotely spark like...

 

[Friday]

I just want to be curious and interested in things again.

That’s step one to getting it back; wanting it back.

 

[ninja]

Thank you all for your replies. I appreciate them very much, despite the fact that I haven’t replied back!

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I straight up forgot some of my interests

@Defaultxlove I SO relate to this! It’s been a long, long time since I have had no one else to consider in my day-to-day activities. It’s eye opening to say the least.
I get glimpses of my old self once in a while though, so it’s still there, just buried under grief.