I Need Help/advice Re: Ex-therapist

[Lost Pup]

I would say that scaring you into believing your family would hospitalize you if you reconnected with them, while you were in a state of re-traumatization around the earlier experiences qualifies as manipulating your probably heigtened state of suggestibility.

Either way, I do hope that, at least in time, you will be able to have this person investigated by the state. She is so, so, so clearly acting outside of any position of authority and may be wounding others as well.

Sorry you have to go through this.

 

[JH11]

Thank you all for your replies...I will be sure to stick around here. I haven't found an online community yet and this issue prompted me to seek out unbiased opinions on this. I'll update the thread and let you know what happens.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude. I was just wondering as sometimes people post in the forum and oddly enough they don't have PTSD, and I didn't see an intro post by you.

This woman is INCREDIBLY unethical! I hope you have the strength to report her. If you do, you will be helping a LOT of other people! I know in the states, a therapist can't even be friends with a client until 2 years post therapy. I can't imagine Canada being much different. Seeing that you are actually living with her, you have proof of her indiscretion. Let's just say I'd be shocked if she didn't lose her license. (Is she licensed?)

 

[JH11]

Yes she is licensed. She works for a transition house which is how I met her- I'd been in the transition house a couple of years prior and had stayed in contact with them...she started working there in 2008.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I don't understand why you are still living with her. If you moved in with her then it was her property so even if you have 3 kids, I would move out. By leaving her to decide you are under her control. Move out. Sorry if that is blunt, but you need to cut all ties and this surely cannot be good for your kids.

 

[CrazyHorse]

Visiting you every day in hospital with her daughter - what was that all about?

That was the predator narcissist and her flying monkey on the hunt for vulnerable prey!

JH11, I am sorry for sounding so dramatic, but run for the hills! Run now!

 

[JH11]

Hello again,
I
Figured there would be too much info for me to get it all in but let me clarify-

We moved in Oct. 2011 to my home city into a house together, so we are not in her house anymore.

I've completely agreed I need to get away from her and at this point I don't even see / talk to either of them for the most part. I haven't seen them in 4 days as of now? They r staying clear of me.

I blew up at "her" 3 weeks ago and told her how I felt ands once then, I FINALLY feel I can stand up to her should she decide she needs to address anything- tho the only thing needing addressing is whether they r moving .

I've had 3 back surgeries and so I am somewhat limited HOWEVER, I do have a much MUCH better sense of reality now since Chrustmas.

It it only a matter of a very short time until I am on my own with my kids and I do continue to get a bigger fire inside burning about this - thankfully, leaving me with zero tolerance for anything coming from either of their mouths.

This has been extremely harsh to deal with because of how mesas up my mind was, and rest assured I'm not just taking my time in getting away from her-

I gave her 1 week to tell me if she is moving or if we r.

In Oct she told me that since we would be roommates and it family, I neede to pay an extra $1000 a month since I should pay 4/6 of the costs instead of 1/3. (tHeY insisted we split 3 ways)
She then lowered it to. $400 extra which I agreed.
On Tuesday she will b told I am not paying any extra for the last month we r living together. she's not going to like that but her ad her daughter have cost me enough already.

 

[CrazyHorse]

It is good that you seem to have seen through them. I know it is hard. I find these soul-sucking narc parasites to be extremely dangerous to our mental and psycical health. I really do hope you escape them as soon as possible.

Also, I highly doubt that they will move! Everything is a game to them and giving anything up equals loosing for them. They do not think and act like 'normal' people. They may say they are going to, but will properly use it to manipulate with you in some way. I know it is easier said than done, but I would really, really just get out of there if I were you.

 

[Queen Boudica]

@JH11 I understand how hard it must be for you. I have back problems (though not as serious as yours) and 3 kids.

I think putting the ball in her court and asking her whether she wants to leave is just giving her control. I think you state that you want her to move out, you have back problems and 3 kids so it is easier for her. BUT as @CrazyHorse said I do not think they will move out or they will drag their feet and make your life a misery. Best thing for you and your kids is to get away from them. I know it will be hard but the longer you are with them the worst it will get and that atmosphere is not good for your kids. Do not give them money or fall for any sob stories.

 

[JH11]

Hi all,
Thanks for the responses and support.

Since October's email to her I had to start making LOTS of changes/undoing lots of things that had been changed since 2010.

-my own bank account (I got her name put on mine in 2011 because I was going back for another surgery and it seemed like the right thing to do at the time...thankfully I can now see the big picture)


-my own vehicle (we shared 2 and after getting my email she demanded the 1 back within a month, I thankfully got my own vehicle 2 weeks later)

- getting kitchen items together- I got rid of all of my kitchen stuff and so thankfully I have got alot now. The thought of starting over was overwhelming at times but I feel MUCH better now since I've been able to assemble alot of what I need.

- name change (it's getting sent in today after I get fingerprinted)

- tattoo consultation Tuesday to get this covered up- her daughter an I got matching ones, I didn't pick it and I actually would not have chosen it but it apparently meant we were sisters forever (I shudder now to think about that)

- Got my cell unlocked to hook it up on a different carrier if she cuts it off once getting my email tomorrow about how I'm not paying the extra $ for rent... I needed that lined up because you guessed it- my cell is on her account as of the fall of 2010 (i pay my portion each month)


So I have been needing to sort of "prepare" things so that I wasn't without a vehicle, cell phone, etc etc etc...way too many changes happened and I am thankful to be undoing them all now.

But it all costs $ ... so aside from stressing out about that factor I have simply put it into order of priority...tho I do know that moving out as soon as i "saw the light" would have been the best, it was NOT possible if I wanted to maintain what sanity I had left.

 

[Abstract]

Just wondered if you are planning to report her. Apologies if you have discussed this already. I haven't read it all.

 

[JH11]

Hi Abstract,

I will be filing a complaint against her, yes...I'm definitely glad we got out first before filing the complaint...but that will be my next step.