I Need Help With Flashbacks

[Michelle1991]

Hi everyone. I was raped just a month and a half ago. I had been abused by a boyfriend prior to that. For the first month after the rape, I was fine. I was going on as if nothing had happened. And now, every morning I wake up crying, as I remember a new detail of the rape everyday.

I am having flashbacks to strange things... Like the texture of the carpet burning against my back. Or the way his TV light flashed red every few seconds. I can still picture the way he held my leg, and the way his closet doors were half open.

I feel like I am slowly dying inside and I don't have anyone to talk to. I feel like I burden my best friend when I throw this all on her.

 

[Mary Burgess]

Sending you these HUGE ((((((hugs))))))) Michelle - you have come to the right forum! Have you been able to talk with a counselor about any of this? There are places where you can get some emergency professional help for free.

 

[Michelle1991]

Thank you Mary. Up until the flashbacks started, I didn't plan on seeking counseling. I have an appointment but sadly it isn't until two weeks away. Until then I am making detailed notes of every flashback. They keep getting stronger and stronger (and harder to manage).

 

[Mary Burgess]

If you find that you just can't manage them, PLEASE have your friend take you to the local ER, or a 'doc in the box' - sometimes these things can just get overwhelming....good to keep detailed notes, but more important to get help if you need it now

 

[kapril]

Michelle,
The flashbacks you are experiencing are normal trauma reactions to what happened to you. At times they can be overwhelming, unsettling, and just plain terrifying. Two weeks seems like a long time to wait to talk with someone. Please stay safe, and have a backup plan like Mary says...This forum is also a big help, even in the middle of the night. I joined recently, about two months ago, and have received much emotional support. When my flashbacks were intense and frequent or when I was spacing out (dissociation) one of the things that helped me was to get an ice cube and hold it. This sensation of cold brought me back to here and now. The most important thing you can do is to find a therapist with whom you can form a safe and trusting relationship, and then talk about what happened, how you feel, and just be able to share what you need to share. It makes all the difference, whether it's for rape, incest, physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse. Please remember that this forum is here anytime you need to share. Hugs to you.

 

[kapril]

Michelle,

One thing I forgot is that when I first started therapy I wanted to die, but now I want to live. It didn't happen overnight, but it happens when you can feel safe, trust your therapist, and share your feelings and what happened to you. I heard you when you said you feel like you are dying inside. Just want you to know there is hope. Please keep us posted on how you are doing...

 

[Meadowsweet]

Michelle, I can understand how hard what you are going through is. But it is your mind processing what happened and that will eventually help you to put this incident into the past and the flashbacks will stop.

Please please keep talking, it is what you need to let it out.

 

[iMPACTt43w0r1d]

Two weeks is a loooong time....I urge you to be careful :) take care. We love you

 

[Mary Burgess]

Ok, it is a new morning, Michelle, and I do hope you got through the night. Please remember that we are here for you when the going gets rough - and there are thousands of counselors out there just waiting to give you some peace and relief, too....
((((((hugs))))))

 

[Michelle1991]

Thank you everybody. I already feel more at peace knowing that I can receive your support.