I Need Someone To Talk To

[Naive_Pixie]

Hey everyone,

So I feel like I need someone to talk to about general life who understands what it's like to have everything go wrong all the time no matter how hard you fight your demons and try to stay positive with the odds against you.

I suffer from a variety of mental issues, one being CPTSD. It's hard to deal with even more so when life just throws shit at you every day, or at least that's how it feels sometimes.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining but I'm honestly over it. And it would be nice to make one friend that I could confide in and vice versa that's less emotionally involved.. Someone who gets what it's like to have one thing happen and then your signals in your head just explode and all you can remember is that one thing happening all the time, all the good memories are suddenly gone. It sucks and I guess I feel like it's getting to much to deal with. I do have an awesome therapist but there's only so much you can get through in one hour.

I hope someone can relate. :)

Light and love everyone!

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Absolutely @Naive_Pixie .

I call it "the snowball effect" just when you can't imagine it getting any bigger...bingo...it starts to roll again. I've also described it to my therapist that it's like an old fashioned movie reel that just won't stop. It keeps moving all the time...each frame passes in front of me all the time. I can't seem to slow it down.

It's so hard. Very discouraging. There are positives when we look for them, but they tend to get smudged out pretty quickly. It's a struggle to swim against the tide, but not impossible.

You don't sound like you're complaining at all. You're stating the facts and many of us would nod and say "yup". Dead on.

Talk away. I'm listening.

 

[One step at a time]

Yep. Feeling much the same way.

I'm hiking uphill. Always.

Except occasionally, when I find myself at the bottom of a pit, with either: vague memories of a (metaphorical) hill and not much else, or excessively vivid memories/sensations of terrible things.
And in both cases, no clue that:
(1) I've been here before.
(2) There is a life/world out there that is worth engaging with. Even if it is all uphill.
(3) There is a way out of the hole, and into that world.

Confide away. And (if you haven't encountered this advice already) the diaries are one good place to do that - you can write as much or as little as you want, and you can receive as much support and advice as you give permission for.

 

[Deanna]

Well, I'm new here and just wanted to say you're not alone. I don't have outbursts really, unless of-course they are triggered. Me and a friend sat on the couch the other day and starting talking about his mother. She's older, smokes cigs, and thinks she can make predictions. She said some prediction about me and he believed it ( which turned out to be totally false) Many months later-- I said she was wrong. ( she was) and he was just being crappy about it... so.I got a little loud at that point so I don't like his mom.

It's a trigger for me not to talk about her.. and don't know her from Adam and don't care. She can fall off of a cliff for all I care but he is stupid enough to believe what she says ( the signs in the future.. oh brother)

Anyway- we all struggle at some point... but we have to learn.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote.........."I hope someone can relate"

Well I can for one, and everyone else who uses this site can also relate!

So, you are not alone, you might be alone at home, the same as me, but everyone in here is with you, I can even feel it when I log in mostly every night.

I hope you stay around long enough to experience that, good luck.

 

[Gamera3000]

I was triggered by something...last week I guess. But it's like it's just simmered there in the back of my mind. I'll start out each day cheerful, determined to have a good day, and then something stressful happens and I way over-react to it. I'm sure because I'm still stressed out from the triggering thing. Like today. My toddler put bubble soap in my coffee this morning and then refused to come inside from the yard, forcing me to pick him up kicking and screaming (he weighs 43 lbs- he's huge). Now I feel like the day is "shot" simply because of those two ridiculous and minor things.

 

[Be Braver]

@Gamera3000 I do the same thing, or my boyfriend says I do. One little thing can ruin a whole day! I totally understand that.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Yup!

Actually, I should say, "one little thing" is not a little thing. Shouldn't be treated as such.

Triggers or just a low platform of tolerance will make anyone much more susceptible to triggers, stressors, anxiety, what feels like "over reacting". It's just the way it is.

 

[Naive_Pixie]

Wow guys I didn't expect this place to be this awesome. I'll definitely stick around. I get pretty frustrated with myself all the time, even though logically I know none of it is exactly my fault, the chaos it causes in my life on a daily basis feels like it's my fault, especially as a parent on top of everything else. It's good to know I'm not the only one fighting

 

[Changing4Best]

I have CPTSD and Bipolar. I can relate to your situation. I was coming out of a downer period today. I was so relieved. This past month was tough. I had trouble just getting up almost every morning. It was just one thing after another and then today I found out that a neighbor of mine died recently. That didn't help either. The last conversation I'd had with her, she'd said she had run out of food and was going to get "Church Boxes" from the Food Pantry. I worried that she had somehow starved to death! Just the thought of that really freaked me out. None the less, I had a good time out with friends tonight at Bible Study. So all was not lost. We had some good laughs. So I am in a better mood now than I was earlier.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I have PTSD & Borderline Personality Disorder and yeah, feeling this way right now. I have no one at all to talk to other then this site. The other day I allowed someone to trigger me to a very scary place in a very low time.

So yeah, i get it. All of it. I don't have any advice as I can't see my way out of it either right now but I just wanted to say you aren't alone, at all! :hug:s