I Need Therapy!

[Copper Princess]

Yesterday I knew that therapy was going to be hard as it always is but it wasn't. My therapist said that I struggle with trust, and shame really bad so we are trying a different approach. We are going to work onto one event at a time but if I start to get panicky we will take a break. I have to write down at least one thing to talk about before I get there and we will go from there. She said it will help me learn to have control. I felt much better because we did talk a rape but it wasn't for very long. She thanked me for trusting her and we blew bubbles so I could calm down.

I have realized that I really need therapy. The flashbacks, paranoia, the nightmares and panic attacks are just not a way of life. I am going to try harder to be open because I need to do this for me.

 

[mrsmegan]

Good for you! Accepting that we need help - and working towards really trusting that person - is such a huge step!

 

[ladee]

Congratulations!! A huge leap of trust and starting to believe in yourself.
Lots of support!

 

[watundah]

Nice work, Copper. Be kind to yourself and realize it is ok to go slow.

 

[Copper Princess]

To bad I am still the princess of avoidance. I get really anxious about going then I leave angry because I don't do what I planned to do.

 

[Suzetig]

That can be a real phase in therapy - I went through that with mine in and off for a long time. I came to realise they weren't wasted sessions in that they helped me build a very strong relationship with my therapist that has helped in the deeper phases of the work. It's all worthwhile.

 

[Beaglefan61]

Flashbacks, paranoia, and lack of trust does make life go much tougher. That you are going to therapy to help ease all of that is tremendous. Getting support here is a good idea as we can all use more support and softness when things are tough going. That a different approach was tried that was helpful is good news. All of this does get extra scary and it takes energy and readiness to deal with some of it so easing when you need may be a good idea. So many of us were hurt by things we did not want to go through or things happening before we were ready so our having some safety margin now is good idea now and then. That make any sense? Best to you in finding the balance between when to press forward to get better yet also pressing as you are best able to take it. We all have to press some to not be stuck, but not so much as to overwhelm totally. That is something i can struggle with myself, yet lack of support for me and other factors can sometimes get in the way of how ready i am so that i don't remain stuck in painful places. I hope for you the right balance will be found so that you overcoming the pain is done in ways where you feel invited into trust and healing rather than thrust into more than you are ready so that the feelings will come out at the times most right for you. Hope i make some sense on how i put that.