I Need To Tell My T She (inadvertently) Hurt Me Emotionally

[NovemberStar]

@Junebug thank you - and yes, I do have a sense I am learning more - and tolerating more. Knowledge is power.

It's fear of emotional intimacy that triggers me when I'm with my T. If I wasn't trying to build a connection despite my fear, I wouldn't have half the dissociation experiences I am lately.

@joeylittle thank you. Sometimes it's not a blessing to have 'insight' - I second guess myself and overanalyze too much. I make things complicated!

I'm feeling better today about this issue. I don't want to see my T; I'm happy for the two week break actually - but I know I will still need to address it all when I do see her. I'm mainly having dissociation and flashbacks due to other triggers - ones I do not know why yet; but the feelings I had when I posted about my poem and my T - I'm not in touch with that at the moment.

 

[Tinyflame]

Well good for you @NovemberStar . :hug: I personally don't find triggers are 'current', but past, in the sense relational. What I mean is, for me, it's not what is in my present, it is what the past 'taught' me and reminds me of, brought forward by a 'present' trigger.

Could be very small things- inanimate things, or asking for help, or having no voice, or whatever, The 'here-we-go-again-principle" of being triggered. Or, conversely, I can just feel badly because I feel badly, within the present. If that makes sense.

I think untangling any of it (just for me) does not lead to overthinking or over-analysis, that I have when triggered or otherwise. Rather, because of more understanding I have less thoughts of it or the triggers lose the same potency.