Relationship I Need To Vent And I Need Help Putting The Pieces Together

[living4jesus]

Forget this dudes problems, May be you should look at your self first, and to what this man brings to your life. By no ways im I saying to leave the relatioship, but to put your self first.
Just a thought

Yes I have actually been working on myself alot this past year, I tend to be very codependant and a caretaker type of person, always looking for those whom I can "fix" or "help". But I have really come a long way this past year and am continuing to work on that.

He is a great guy when his PTSD isn't triggered that is what makes it so hard. His PTSD is so few and far between so most of the time he is a great, loving, kind, Godly man. But when his PTSD is kicked in he is a real big jerk and a completley different man.

 

[living4jesus]

Well I feel better then I did yesterday, thank you to all for your advice. I still am not really sure what to do my emotions and mind tell me one thing and my heart tells me another. He has apologized and is back to being nice to me now but I am on guard and kind of bitter and upset still. I am just going to focus on me and continue a time out for me to regain my thoughts and perspective and sort everything out. I am putting me first from this point on.

Thank you again everyone:)

 

[Eleanor]

I am discovering that the "fallout" from these kinds of episodes is what is hardest for me. I keep waiting "for the other shoe to drop" when my H gets annoyed or irritated. And dealing with the residual anger/resentment/hurt from the things "he" says in an episode is a puzzle I haven't solved. All good advice/feedback above... in answer to the question, what do you do to stop it? The simple answer is: There is nothing you can do to stop it. It just has to run its course. And the best thing you can do it get the hell out of the way.

I'm glad he is feeling better - and hoping you do too soon. Sigh. It takes me DAYS to get over the emotional turmoil....

 

[living4jesus]

Yeah I agree Eleanor, today he is still edgy and somewhat interrogating and distrusting so I have avoided communication with him as much as possible. Because its like a time bomb I am just waiting for him to blow up again. So I fall into the walking on eggshells again.

Ah yes, sometimes it takes me weeks to recover from the emotional turmoil. There are times where I think that all these episodes are slowly pushing me further and further away from him emotionally. Right now I am just emotionally zapped.

 

[Eleanor]

Be good to yourself L4J. Take it easy and don't expect too much for a bit.

Hugs to you.

 

[ronnalee]

(((( L4J))))