I Need Your Brutal Honesty On This One...

[Justpassintime]

I was SO relieved when I found out that hyper sexuality is a symptom of PTSD. I have chronic ptsd from prolonged repeated sexual abuse so typically like others this was the thing I was going to take to my grave shame and all.

This above all is the hardest thing for me to deal with - since I've been doing this forever, I have coping methods (maybe not the healthiest) for every other thing I face but this.

If you have experienced this and/or overcome this what did you do? What works?

I typically do not talk to anyone or go anywhere because there are no guarantees (sadly) I won't act on it.

NO this is not some stupid porn site thing either, this is for real.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Hyper sexuality is also a symptom of Bipolar Disorder. In fact, one of it's best known signature symptoms.

Have you seen a doctor about this? If not, then it is time.

 

[Justpassintime]

I am in treatment now for my ptsd, the bipolar thing is possible, but honestly? I have so many labels presently, I'm not anxious to get one more. If I go through all this and I still find myself struggling with cycles (which my ptsd does actually do), I will do so. My psychiatric past is a stone cold mess. I applied for a case manager where I go and have an appointment in January for a new psych eval. I will mention it when I go.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I understand how being diagnosed with something else maybe unsavory but this statement worries me and frankly alarms me:

I typically do not talk to anyone or go anywhere because there are no guarantees (sadly) I won't act on it.

Get help as soon as you can. January is a long way off but I know how psychiatrist appointments are--busy and overbooked.

 

[Justpassintime]

I hear you - and I appreciate your concern, really. I have mad crazy coping tools -- sex is something I am pretty determined to conquer so I just focus on totally NOT doing it and that's why I stay away from folks. I will talk to my therapist in the mean time who is so freaking awesome, she blows my mind on a regular basis.

 

[macca]

Justpassintime - I want you to know you are not alone. I've only admitted this to my therapist, but here goes. I've had a few patches in my life where I've been hypersexual. I even went to the doctor about it (and had to keep distracting myself because he is a man) and he sent me to a psychiatrist (female!). The last time it lasted about 2-3 years, and it was a struggle, as I was happily married, never cheated (with difficulty), but was utterly insatiable. It wasn't bipolar, especially as manic episodes generally do not last for years at a time! When I came out of it, it was like coming out of some kind of thick fog.

I also often have patches where I'm not interested at all, like now. My T believes it is related to sexual abuse. I don't have a memory of sexual abuse, but going on trauma re-enactment play, and family reports of my behaviour, as well as the content of flashbacks I've had since a young child, I think I may have been raped around 3 years old. I don't know what to suggest for coping methods though - I had trouble as well. It's more difficult for you if you never get a break from it. The main thing I would do was try and be with my family as much as possible, or at least away from others. It appears to be more likely to happen to me if I'm slim, as men would look at me and that's much worse. I'm not always like that when slim, but it makes me afraid to lose weight. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I'm so glad you have an excellent T!

 

[rightkindofme]

I deal with hypersexuality. I've been monogamous for almost two years this stretch. Nearly the longest in my life time. This weekend I went and helped a friend move. At one point there were five of my lovers in the room. Good times.

People don't understand hypersexuality. "I can go to the grocery store and find casual sex. No really." It is a problem. Getting a handle it has been really hard.

For me the reason I have it under control at this point is because I don't want to model it for my children. Nothing else convinced me that I could slow down on finding partners.

 

[Jane.l]

I have had a little of this in bits. My understanding is, that it is, as you say a coping strategy just like cutting or drinking or drug abuse - it's a quick fix to make you feel good short term.

We need to try to get to what makes us feel good long term! - That's the goal anyway. Not as easy as it sounds!

 

[Sweet Girl]

Going through it right now myself. It is a coping mechanism for me brought on by years of sexual abuse starting at the age of 6. I usually don't act upon it unless I'm drinking though.

I'm working closely with my therapist and talking to friends about it a lot. Although the shame is almost unbearable for me, I'm finding that bringing it into the light, naming it and owning it (and absolutely no drinking) I'm slowly healing.

I feel like I'm on some
self destructive path to bring attention to my severe pain and it's very difficult to stop. I have let it enter my career, and am close to developing a terrible reputation or worse yet, losing my job. I recommend getting help as soon as you can.

 

[rightkindofme]

I don't feel a lot of shame around my hypersexuality. I understand why I did it. I understand that for our species, social connections are some of the most important things for our happiness and meeting people through sex is a very bonding way of meeting people.

My lovers still show up to help me when I need help. I go over to their house and help them move house or do big chores when they need help.

I actually feel kind of blessed because of my hypersexuality. I have a lot of very good people who feel attached to me. They love me and show up in my life over and over. Many of my lovers are still good friends more than ten years after we stop sleeping together.

I kind of feel like a bonobo and I'm not sure how unhealthy it actually is. Sexual contact is one way of building a community.

 

[Jenfa]

I hear you. I'm bipolar with ptsd, but the bipolar is the part that sends me out into the world like a maniac sex fiend. lol. Sounds so wrong, and it is, but it's okay. I sort of do the same thing as you, I stay home quite a bit. I'm scared of going back out there and doing the same thing. It's not that I'm ashamed of my actions afterwards, but I'm ashamed of how it can and does hurt other people who really want to get to know me. I didn't think that was possible, that people would want to know me, but I guess it isn't. I just assumed things because of the ptsd experiences.

Truthfully, what I see as examples of bipolar disorder out there in the media is really off base. I was watching episodes of Dr. Phil where they had bipolar sufferers but honestly they were really delusional and seemed schizophrenic, or at the least a personality disorder. It made me sad to think that the most extreme cases of people whom obviously have more than one thing going on is the model for the public.

I'm not ashamed of being hypersexual, but I am careful whom I tell (as in no person who isn't qualified to hear it). But the hypersexuality is usually accompanied by a following manic period, or concurring. Keep an eye on things and maybe try to create a journal, logging what happens during and after the hypersexual episodes. If there's a pattern, then bringing that to a new psych or neuropsychologist may speed up the process of getting the right diagnosis. If it's not bipolar, but a deep-seeded traumatic after-effect then at least you will know one way or another. Good luck!

 

[Justpassintime]

Wow, ya'lla re awesome again, I think I love ya'll (LOL).

I thought I knew what it was from but....I was right. I was sexually abused from at least five to fifteen by multiple persons. When I was twelve I acquired an addiction to alcoholism, drugs and sex. They were all about equal and if I had at least one of those things I could live without the others. There is but of course shame associated, not really anymore, I can't help it when it happens, I can only help what I do about it as I choose to not act on it. There are some nail biting moments as hubby is no longer young and rarely wants to but is happy to help when I let him know sometimes. Most of the time I am decent about it, but sometimes I am just stright up brutal honest about it. I'm so thankful I am not the only one.