I Realize That I

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
When I find myself thinking thoughts that are nice, beautiful, and lovely, then the unwanted thoughts go away. Try to think of happy times in your life, places you have been that would be worthy of many more visits, if you could. I hope this helps.
 

bird_on_a_wire

MyPTSD Pro
I have trouble remember those at those times @Changing4Best . :( I once heard it described as like having a computer virus of the brain. :(

I realize (or suppose, since there's only so much I can remember from a child up, though I can add in the present) that my own attachment style and personality also interplay with family, etc, and their's. Of which we can misunderstand or misread each other. Likely did, likely do.
 

bird_on_a_wire

MyPTSD Pro
I don't know if I'm worthy of something other than radio silence from those who are able, but I give up on it. I do know I no longer have the energy to be the one to reach out, to speak, to ask, to be a conduit, to try, to make the effort. And if isolating from it i hurts me, it's only a different version of what hurts me already. They say to identify your needs and communicate them, or meet them yourself. If I could I suppose I wouldn't have SI? Or is SI meeting them myself? Maybe.
 

Lionheart

MyPTSD Pro
I realize that I am too hard on myself esp. when I stop to think of the fact that I cannot control everyone and everything. Not everything is my responsibility. Also, I am not perfect, (nor do I pretend to be).

Still, I tend to strive for excellence and when I fail I am a bit too tough on myself. I need to relax and treat myself with the same kind of patience, love, and respect that I give to others.
 

bird_on_a_wire

MyPTSD Pro
I realize how much effort, love, the benefit of the doubt, I've given to those relationships and people (related by blood and otherwise), who never cared, never made an effort to be the one to reach out, never were reciprocal. Just words, soon forgotten as never meant (we don't forget what we mean because there's nothing to remember). That is painfully too kind, no self worth, stupid, or all three. Never again. Should never have in the 1st place. I am so tired of lies and 1/2 lies, and deceit and bs.
 
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Lionheart

MyPTSD Pro
I realize that my family is not in the other room. ...They are gone, but I keep looking for them. Kinda bites!!! I am getting better at accepting things the way they are...but I sure don't like it!!!
 

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
I realize that my family is not in the other room. ...They are gone, but I keep looking for them. Kinda bites!!! I am getting better at accepting things the way they are...but I sure don't like it!!!
I will never forget the day when my sister burst into tears over the fact we weren't going to Nana's house. It was two + years before then that Nana had passed away, yet she'd forgotten and still believed that we were about to go visit Nana for Christmas.
 

Lionheart

MyPTSD Pro
I will never forget the day when my sister burst into tears over the fact we weren't going to Nana's house. It was two + years before then that Nana had passed away,

Bless your sister's heart that is like the saddest thing... My sister will have been gone 2 years on the 22nd of this month. We were really close and I keep turning to tell her stuff then I realize she isn't there anymore. It is quite a rude awakening.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
I realize that I chronically injure myself (without meaning to) because I refuse to accept my own limitations and expect myself to be able to do all things, all the time just to prove that I am worthwhile or worth something.

I realize that I still want to be the peacemaker even though it throws me into a war I hate.

I realize that I can't fix my mother.

I realize that I made choices in my life that assumed that I would not recover but that those are not the last of the choices to be made.

I realize that things have improved vastly over the last few years and that so long as I continue doing what I am doing, things will continue to improve.

I realize that I don't really know what my limitations are these days and that anxiety surrounding this fact has held me back.
 
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