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I think i’m being shunned from my church

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Ditto what @Zoogal said. I don't want to hurt your feelings but this is pretty important. I hope you will reply to eliminate any confusion.

Do you have an official PTSD diagnosis from a medical professional?

Do you have an official OCD diagnosis?

What other diagnosises do you have?

It does sound like you are struggling with intrusive thoughts which can be a symptom of multiple diagnosis.
Btw, when did Satan become more powerful than God? Because you sure give Satan alot of credit. Here's what I think. I think that your drug use has severly altered you brain chemistry and has caused a lot of mental damage that has nothing to do with PTSD. I also believe you suffering from chronic med changes and drug abuse. Your medication alter your thoughts and emotions.you have to be completely free of them for longer than a few months to start to be normal again.
 
Yes I’ve been diagnosed OCD, PTSD, Major Depression, Insomnia. General anxiety disorder.

It’s just kinda funny how all of this started the day I told God I wanted to do my own thing.

Kinda like my conscience went into protective mode.

I believe in mental illness. I believe we are all afflicted in some way. I wanted to be an evangelist. Maybe I still can but I got to go thru hell to get there.
 
I think that all of this is working towards my good.

Like I have a huge testimony to tell ppl. To insist that they resist temptation and even if you do give in that God is Sovereign.

He will see you thru it all as long you trust him.
 
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