I Think I'm Not Fit For...

[J_trustno1]

work or this world!

Here is the story and it breaks my heart to know this...

I went to prepare a presentation for my Thursday evening course for Project management certificate course (CAPM). We do presentations in groups, so the guy I am doing this presentation with was teaching me how to lie to other people, how to do politics and how to hide information from other people so that you don't lose your job.

It is heart breaking to know that you have to lie, manipulate and cheat to keep a job and moving up the career ladder. I don't think that I can be successful in workforce :(

Does this mean I should lose hope and forget about having a career based on my ethics and values? How can people be happy to have a career based on lies and cheating. How can people cheat themselves and others just to be successful. This just doesn't fit in with my values.

Do I give up hope about being honest and having a career that matches my values???

 

[Bloomy]

I probably should not reply this thread. Ive come to the understanding that yes this is what I have to do in order to move on. This is part of what hurts. I hope you will get some better answers from others then me.
But best of luck to us both.

 

[hodge]

Just now seeing your post, Jass. It's very early in the morning here and I'm seriously sleep deprived, so don't feel fit to offer any suggestions. Just wanted to let you know I read this and feel deeply for your dilemma. It's an awful choice. I'm so sorry.

 

[Friday]

It depends on the field you're working in. Some, absolutely, require lying. Others don't.

 

[J_trustno1]

@FridayJones : but is it healthy? Is it harming others to lie? Does that make the person lying a cheat or a manipulator?

 

[OrganicRobot]

It sounds like your company or specifically the project and not your line of work that is the issue. I have a few friends that are in project management and another that is in the process of getting the CAPM. From my understanding they deal with some personal politics but not the other stuff. If there is lying, cheating and hiding information in project management of all things... that means that project isn't a good project! Which means it is going go down the gutter, thing will get worse and the idea to be even more unethical will grow stronger. Many don't want to lose their jobs so they don't shake things up, point out the real problems that need to be worked upon and actually find reasonable solutions which are in scope.

e.g. People in general can be fearful especially if their personal lifestyle is on the line. Also most people are afraid of reflection, admitting and owning up to personal responsibility and actually improving their situation. And sometimes ironically people subconscious know if things improve their will be less problems to solve, their will be less menial or clean up work to do... and that forces people to actually build up harder skill sets and sets the bar higher...

Meritocracy for the win...

 

[EveHarrington]

Stay out of the corporate world?

In my line of business, I pride myself on honesty and don't cheat or lie to anyone------nor will I deal with dishonest people.

Follow your heart and do what you feel is right! :) :hug:

 

[Gamera3000]

I used to work in software development. Not in project management, but I worked closely with that department. I was the manager of the technical writing department and we did matrix management, so we were working with the business systems people all the time.

I ultimately found this line of work too stressful at the time and took an early medical retirement. But I have since come to terms with how and when to use manipulation and lying.

You can concentrate on what information to give people, highlighting some things and downplaying other things. The best way to "lie" is to never lie at all. Never say anything that isn't true, and the truth will come through to other people, making you more effective and making you feel better. It is best to limit your interaction with more active manipulators as much as possible. They rise quickly in these environments. It's not worth it to befriend them or to challenge them.

It is also sometimes an option to switch to a less stressful direction which lets you maintain your salary level. Sometimes something will come up as a project manager that doesn't interact much with the other people, for example, or as a director instead of a project manager.

I hope this is helpful in some way. Good luck.

 

[Anonymous man]

Hi J_trustno1,

Please do not give up hope about entering the workforce and having a career.

Some industries are worst than others, but i have managed to work in places where the working culture was a good one. Each company is different and if you're not desperate for work, you can take your time trying to find somewhere that you feel would be a good fit for you.

Company's with high staff turnovers are a red flag and are likely to have a culture of bullying, in my opinion. I think it's great that you have strong values and ethics and don't want to compromise. It's a hard line to travel but I have met people that have had successful careers and they didn't compromise. Those are the people that I look up to.

You are right. If you lie, you are a liar. If you cheat you are a cheater, and if you manipulate and back stab people aswell, then you're on your way to becoming a corporate sociopath.

Good luck

 

[Freedomfighter]

work or this world!

Here is the story and it breaks my heart to know this...

I went to prepare...

Well, you openly speak out about something that everyone does in the workforce anyways. As many people that have tried to sabotage and lie about me and my job I now know that lying and cheating is a popular job side effect.

Disgusting however, I have so many people who spend their entire day doing that on the job. I just do not understand such mentality issues. Quite frankly, I don't really care about what people lie about anyways.

If you have been abused many times you start to not care anymore about the reasons why they abuse you. I think that is where I am right now.

First I used to think: oh, o.k. this person is abusing me because: they like me and I told them to take a hike, or o.k. this person is abusing me because I was rude to them sometimes, or o.k. this person is abusing me because I have something they don't have........., well that can go on and on and on.

I just don't care about that anymore. What I have learned is this: there are many corrupt people out there and when they abuse you it often has to do with them wanting to get close to the victim, and the victim does not even know why, crazy husbands who want something on the side, jealous males who want to be in your life rather than some other male.... and you know what? I knew a lot of such crazy guys but I sure did not know of those intentions.

Still, years later the more I learn about that the more shocked I am. You know what I mean? People that I may have considered as friends perhaps, but those same people who had entirely different ideas about what they would like to do me... explicit things. Never knew, what the h...?

 

[Artytree]

work or this world!

Here is the story and it breaks my heart to know this...

I went to prepare...

There's a few ways to think of this such as,
If you really want to do that particular type of work and the only way to success within that job is to lie and cheat then I guess you may have to go against your moral compass and lie and cheat your way up the ladder ect. Or another option is, be the change! Be the one that can succeed and go up the ladder and stand by your own moral compass. Stand out by being you.
Another option is find another way/job that you don't have to be something you're not.
Sorry I've not got any other advice for you. Over the years I've started to learn to be myself, and not conform or try and fit in with anything that doesn't fit who I am. I spent majority of my life not being true to myself and constantly changing myself, my personality, everything, so I could fit in with groups, 'friends', jobs, whatever, just to get by in life. I'm 38 and I'm just discovering who I am. I won't ever comprise that for a job, so called friends, family, work....not a damn thing....not anymore.