I Told My Therapist How I Feel...

[Jen93]

Actually, there's been a few times where my T said "I'm going to sit in on your next psych appointment okay?" So I don't know why she'd be hesitant now- unless she's realizing my transference and deciding to "roll with it" which is what I feared. It was like the stupid general "We don't have urgent space available right now, go to a walk in, or in an emergency go to the nearest crisis centre in your area."

I'm feeling so used right now. :(

 

[Jen93]

I'm feeling relieved. My therapist abandoned me, but I managed to get an appointment with counselling at my university- and according to my other friend who has PTSD- even if he's a guy, he's really good at it. It'd actually be easier for me if it WAS a guy counselling me- because how would I ever transfer all-girls school bullying onto a man? :D I'm so happy. Yay!:roflmao:

 

[BloomInWinter]

Good for you, (((((Jen93)))))

 

[bethinhfx]

@Jen93- sorry that your T didn't get back to you. I went to the hospital today to get some support and the psychiatrist was on a power trip and was trying to get me to go on meds--within 10 min of our conversation (I have been having flashbacks). It was the most disempowering experience I think I have ever had- bar none- tonight I felt like hurting myself. Its really hard to get help and I think people get burnt out--- I am sorry that happened to you. It hurts! But try not to take it personally. You may want to wait a little and send her another email just letting her know how you felt. She may learn something from it also. Peace!

 

[Jen93]

I have an appointment with her in two weeks. I'm thinking of bailing. Feeling nauseous. Can't help thinking of the time she said I shouldn't terminate therapy and that I'd always have problems. Oh I hate her so much. Maybe I'll cancel. I got the meds I needed.

I feel so annoyed right now and as if I'm a baby. >.<

 

[bethinhfx]

You are not a baby at all - you are trying to get help--its very difficult.

She may not be the right fit for you so this could be a positive experience for you in terms of recognizing that it is her limitation, and not yours.... not your fault!

I tend to turn my therapists into parents and that's an expected part of therapy. I have had good experiences and I have actually had damaging experiences. I have had to learn to treat myself very seriously; as someone who has issues ( for good reason I suspect) and as someone who deserves high quality care, which includes being able to develop a relationship. I have had to learn to bang out boundaries and bring these issues to the table. I had a boss that I was afraid would hit me..., and I was hit sometimes when I was a kid and also had the experience in therapy of being rejected when I was assertive.

I have had to learn to take myself seriously.

There not doing me a favour! Best wishes!

<Edited - added paragraph breaks>

 

[Jen93]

She doesn't care. I'm now convinced that she is working for my parents. I've got a different appointment with someone else, and I'm being more proactive in trying to get trauma therapy rather than just the ridiculous "social worker who doesn't care and doesn't even bother to pretend to" therapy I've been dealing with.

 

[bethinhfx]

" working for my parents"..lol; no doubt! Its hard to get good help!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Wishing you the best on whatever you decide to do. You are a person of worth and deserve to get the help, support and attention you require. Take care.

 

[HëllaBubz]

I know what you mean about it being 'turned around' on you, and called 'a tap'.....my old man busted my nose when I was 14 or15, and then called it 'a tap'.....seems to be a regular recurrence for people who come up with :poop: to cover their ass.

I can't take away how that principal made you feel, but I can tell you I've been there, and I understand, and sometimes I still feel the seeds of doubt that the bastards tried to sow.....hang in there baby :)

 

[Jen93]

Bubzilla, Thanks.. I guess? :eek: That's some strong language. ;) I don't mind.

 

[HëllaBubz]

:oops::eek: me sorry.....got a little carried away.