I Want Death To Visit Me Now

[Smile]

I just can't. Can't do it anymore. None of it.

Looked into different ways to commit suicide but can't see myself doing them... No! Don't say that's a good thing! Because I need out! I need an exit from this constant pain.

Why the hell cant I just be happy?!???

Just had T session and it was of no help whatsoever. Great. I have nothing. Going to visit grown up niece now... Not sure if I'll burst into tears in front of her. I've always tried to keep a strong face but just no energy anymore.

Is this just depression?

 

[joeylittle]

Is this just depression?

Depression is never a 'just' - it's a powerful thing. And yes, depression is the thing that tells you that there isn't any hope.

Have you been here before - feeling like there's no way out? Was there something that you did that helped a little, or did it just ease up a little bit on its own? Sometimes waiting it out is what it takes. I know it's not going to do a lot of good, but I'll remind you that you want to stop hurting - you don't actually want to die. It feels like dying is the only way to get there, right now. But dying is nothing. There's no relief after death, there's nothingness.

So long as you would rather still be alive, just not feeling so rotten - you have something to hold onto.

 

[Stickler]

Uh...when I feel that bad I get an appointment with my psychiatrist really fast because I obviously need my medications twiddled with.

Have always been depressed.
Recently diagnosed bipolar 2, but I cycle between being sorta depressed and horribly depressed?
It's just that the wrong meds make me become enraged and agitated...while still having symptoms of severe depression...:sorry:
Someone scrape me off the floor please.:inpain:

I find the waves of agony pass after about 6-8 hours, but they come back? Exercise, coffee, dark chocolate, talking, and med changes seem to help at times.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

:hug:(((Smile))):hug: Hugs if accepted...
I am SO SORRY that you feel this way, too! In my head, I know that I just don't want to hurt anymore, but my head just screams "let me out"!
I would never actually do anything to cause my death, because I know what it does to the survivors. Too many people would be so very hurt, and for some, it would haunt them forever. I can't cause pain like that. I think it also gives people, especially younger people the thought that it is a good "out". It isn't, at all!

Can you talk to your niece? You wouldn't have to tell her everything, but she might be able to comfort you. You deserve to be comforted! There is a hereditary component to depression, and you might find out that other's in your family have struggled like you.

I have suffered since I was 14, and probably longer. I will be 60 in November. I have learned (mostly) to "manage" it, but it never completely goes away. I am on several meds, and see a T once a month, and my Psych Dr. every 3 months for a med check.

You ARE WORTH doing the work, and doing all can to get better. You CAN see the light again, and you'll have dark times. But depression, for me, is like the weather. It changes frequently.

Blessings to you, and just DON'T QUIT!
AKJ

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug: