I Want To Quit Therapy

[Uciz]

It's making me so much worse. My health has been suffering the past two or three months and it seems it's because of therapy. The therapist is far too quiet, I'll speak lots and when I'm done saying my piece, she often sits there in total silence.

How is that supposed to help?

I've already asked for a different therapist, this one is the new one but it seems part of their technique is to sit silently. I feel very scared and unsafe and it's not helping. I could barely stay grounded the last time.

I wish there was someone else.

What should I do?

 

[Ica]

Have you told her how you feel about the silence? I've had this conversation with my therapist as it's something I find difficult too. She says that silences in session are usually to allow you space to consider what has been said and to process some of it, she said it also gives her an opportunity to think about the things a bit more before responding. She respects that I find silence uncomfortable though and doesn't let them go on too long. It has got easier for me as time has gone, but I still can't sit with it long.

Some clients will find it incredibly helpful to have that space. If she doesn't know how difficult you're finding it, you're not giving her the opportunity to adjust it or help you to find it easier.

Don't quit without having the conversation at least.

 

[Awuw]

Letting you speak with very little feedback can also indicate that the T is in the Freudian school of thought. Works well for some, useless for others.

Either way, the sad reality of therapy is that it gets worse before it gets better. Sorry that it's awful for you right now. Hope you find a way to make it work, either with this T or someone else.

 

[Uciz]

Thanks for replying, I just find it very difficult, I tell her these bad things that I experienced and she doesn't even say a thing :( I don't see how that will help me...

 

[Wutulu]

Have you told her that?

 

[Uciz]

No but she made it quite clear that this is how she works..

 

[Ocet]

My therapist was the same but she took time to process what I told her I know it's there job and they are human as well so it must be hard for them to process it as well because they not allowed to show emotions so they probly take a little time to give you the answer you make be looking for its a long process my counselling lasted two years and I'm still gotta have more pheraphy now

 

[Uciz]

I wonder if I'm just not doing it right. It's just so difficult. I almost feel I'm talking to a brick wall..

 

[Wusuzi]

Does she know that you're considering quitting because of this?

 

[Uciz]

No... But I did tell her last time that it feels too difficult. She asked if it's helpful for me talking about the past. I said I needed to think about it. The truth is its hard for me to talk about past present or future. I didn't say that. And thinking about saying it sends me into a real panic that I find hard to control.

 

[Dusu]

Maybe try writing it down?

Some of the sessions that have moved my therapy forwards the most have been the ones where we've talked about the therapeutic process itself, but they are really difficult conversations to start. For me, a lot of the difficulty stems from a fear of criticising other people, and I actually needed to talk about that first!

Having a better understanding of the theories behind the way your therapist works might make you more comfortable with some of it.
Her having a better understanding of how it feels at your end will give her a better understanding of you.

I'm sure she would much prefer to hear it and at least be given the opportunity to work on it with you, than for you just to quit on her.

What advice would you give to someone else making this post do you think?

 

[Uciz]

Thanks, I think you're right, I would feel like I was criticising her and being difficult. I just don't even feel strong enough to bring it up with her. I feel like crying just thinking about doing that. I just feel so weak...

I will do some writing and see how that goes.